This Week's Guest Judge...

Is Section123 Saints Fan who related to us this morning this disappointing experience. This guest review reveals a number of interesting things. First, the absolute disappointment and anger that results when dining out goes awry. And also, how waiters sometimes suck.*

Had to drop you an email about a very disappointing Bogey last night. Maximo's Italian Grill
I have heard such good things about this place recently, same chef as pre-K, great atmosphere,service, etc.... Maximo's did not live up to any of that

First and Foremost, Service: Double Bogey
We had a group of 8 people and wanted some wine, so I asked for a suggestion.

The waiter responded by asking me how much I wanted to spend. Now, I don't want to go on a long rant about this, but as someone who waited tables and bar tended for 5 years, that's not an appropriate question. You should be able to recommend an Italian red in each category, cheap, moderate, pricey, you're an Italian restaurant after all.

Anyway, I tell him that since we will be having 3 or 4, let's go with something under 50. His response: I have something okay for 50 and something great for 60.

Look, I'm here to have dinner, not be treated like someone trying to buy a used car. You don't have a single decent wine under 50 bucks? There are at least 10 bottles in that price range, do they all suck? Why are they on your wine list then? Are you kidding? I end up ordering the cheapest Chianti on the menu (cheap Chianti is kind of a guilty pleasure for me anyway) just to spite the guy.

Throughout our dinner, the waiter is rude and not attentive. He occasionally fills wine glasses, a role which I eventually relegate myself to because we' didn't come to play around and have a glass or two. He begins to hover over us around 10:00 PM, making it very obvious he is ready to go whenever we leave.

Then, in a final act of indifference and poor waiting skills, he adds a 20% tip to the entire check, including the price of wine (which was about 150 bucks). First of all, if you're a good waiter, you rarely ever do this - I know, from experience. And if you have done a good job and your table leaves drunk and happy, you may get well over 20%. But fine, if you want to do it, play by the rules at least. 18% is acceptable, and typically, you do not add it on the price of wine. Again though, all of this would have been fine if he had, at any point in the evening, acted like he gave a damn about us, but after the service we got, it was the last straw. I will never return.

Food: Par
I got the rack of lamb and the sauteed calimari. It was unremarkable. Girlfriend got the Veal Noci, and it was decent, although much too sweet. The waiter recommended the special risotto of the night, and one in our party got it - it tasted like overly buttered grits. Not good either.

For some reason, the waiter also suggested we get an order of this entree to put in the center of the table and all share (in addition to our other entrees - I guess he had already decided he was slapping the 20% on) As far as Italian joints go, I would take Venezia's and Vincents over this place any day. not to mention any other Italian place worth a damn.

Value: Bogey
If I pay 30 bucks for lamb, I expect it to be pretty damn good. It was blah.

Atmosphere: Par
Wants to be fine dining. Suffers from poor service. Many of the dishes were buried in sauce. The presentation on all but one of the salads was very weak.

All in all, it got a bogey from everyone I dined with. Unimpressed.

* The views of our guest reviewers do no neccessarily reflect the opinions of the Blackened Out Editorial Staff. However we do appreciate the use of the Blackened Out Scoring System.

Off the Beaten Path...

Food is important. Now, I do realize this is mostly political stuff, but it shows the importance of a good meal. Not only that, but the following articles raise interesting and thought provoking questions. Questions that I have been mulling over recently.

First, what the hell does organic mean anymore? You aren't on the farm. And how the hell did seemingly endless amounts of organic food producers enter the market in the last few years. Given that it takes years to receive government certification that your farm is organic. Is it really better to eat organic food flown from Chile or China than just to buy food from a local, non-organic farmer? Can we all agree global warming, food production, and energy policy (and the inter-relation amongst the 3) is an issue we are not yet ready to make decisions on?

Secondly, are you willing to give up drive-thrus?

Finally, I understand people believe Obama is a messiah, but I am positive Jesus didn't charge this much for some bread and fish.

For Lunch Today...

There are not many BBQ spots in or around NOLA, but the few that we do have put out a pretty damn good product. After living in exile in Austin for four years (no victory lap for this guy), I developed a hankering for BBQ which I brought back home with me. So whenever I get the itch, I head on down St. Claude to Poland Ave and make my way to The Joint.*

The Joint is such a dive, but that's what gives it its charm.** There are maybe 8 picnic tables and benches inside and a few outside, the A/C barely works, and the "bathroom" door is a curtain. But they make some great BBQ, so ambiance be damned.

In some regions, your choice of BBQ meats is strongly dependent on where you are. Brisket and sausage in Texas, pulled pork in the Carolinas, ribs in Memphis and St. Louis. Not the case at The Joint. They have Texas style beef brisket, St. Louis cut pork spareribs, Carolina pulled pork, smoked chicken on the bone, and a local Cajun specialty of smoked chaurice sausage. Can't decide which one to choose? No problem, go with the 3 meat combo plate. Oh and don't worry, they have both thick, sweet sauce for the brisket and thin, spicy sauce for the pulled pork.

As for sides, my favorite is the mac & cheese. The baked beans are rather light in color from the absence of tomato, but they are still sweet with either molasses or brown sugar. If you need a little greenery, order the salad with smoked tomato and onion dressing.

Finish it off with a slice of peanut butter pie for dessert, and you've got yourself one hell of a lunch. So head on out to the Bywater, tuck your tie inside your shirt (if necessary), and dive right into some great BBQ at The Joint.

* This "For Lunch Today..." goes out to Big Brutal Dave ("BBD"), an avid reader of the blog. He had some, shall we say, "complaints" yesterday:
BBD: f*king let me ask you this
where the f*ck was i supposed to go to lunch today
if yall didnt tell me
d*cks
Peter: You are in Baton Rouge, mother f*cker
We only do it for NOLA
BBD: so f*cking what
its bullsh*t
you didnt do it for nola today
thats what im saying
Peter: Agreed
At blackenedout we try to post everyday
Sometimes we need to bill though
BBD: well where should i eat
or should i have eaten

**I noticed on The Joint's website that it will be featured on the Food Network's "Diners, Drive-Ins, & Dives," so some of you may think that I am guilty of plagiarism. But let it be known that I have been patronizing The Joint and calling it a dive long before Guy Fieri has. End of rant.

Reasons why you should come to State Dinner, The Remix

If you are still on the fence as to whether or not you would like to join us on July 17th as we celebrate the Tales of the Cocktail Spirited Dinner at Stella! allow this photo essay to sway or dissaude you. These photos were taken at the First State Dinner which took place at Vizards.

The night starts out tastfully enough. Good friends reconnecting and toasting the joys of life.

In this picture you can see in the background a painting of some Bluebloods lunching at Galatoire's. And they are exposing their breasts. This will be important later.

Girls! Girls! Girls!

If you get hungry, we have food.

You can eat very close to real live bloggers. Most people pay a fortune for an opportunity like this. Plus Rene will attempt to look like a Sumo wrestler and an Italian Mafia Don at the same time.

Everyone has a really good time laughing at Rene's jokes, which are always really funny. During this skit Rene was discussing why the last thing you ever want to do is be the last guy in a casino.

Peter takes his job as note taker extremely serious. He did not even blink an eye when Hammer stole his wine.

There is a very good chance a Cougar will volunteer to take your group's photo and the whole time be exposing her left breast. Then she will take a picture with you showing the same. And B Gunner will lick his lips.

Past results are no guarantee of future performance; but if you would like to join us please go here to buy your ticket.

Call to Arms

Recently this rapscallion, Robert Peyton, has used the Internet to publish outlandish, salacious, and dangerous rumors about the crew behind this noble journalistic institution. Obviously Mr. Peyton did not read the "Terms of Use" Contract which controls the entire Internet. If he did, he would remember that the only information which can be posted on the world wide web must be 100% accurate and/or absolutely true.

Perhaps one of us assualted Mr. Peyton with a knife, but neither of us are Turks. Peter could be Armenian, but Peter is still awaiting the gynecological survey he requested from the Mormons, or something like that.

Indeed, the Blackened Out Crew and Fan will dine at Stella. Mr. Peyton and his cohorts have chosen to dine across town at Iris on the evening of July 17th. Perhaps it is the prospect of fun, hilarity, bonhomie, and general tomfoolery that they seek to avoid. Or perhaps they need a more secluded spot to plan their impending retirements. Regardless, the editors of this stalwart and our crew of merry eaters issue the following statement to Mr. Peyton:

Please meet us at a place of mutual convenience following your gustatory celebration so that we may duel on the neutral ground. We will take the streetcar towards your restaurant and your gang of misfits is instructed to take the streetcar towards the Quarter. We shall meet at Fat Harry's. You, sir, may choose the weapon. Choose wisely, and remember Blackened Out would never bring a knife to a gun fight.

Signed,
The Blackened Out Armenian (perhaps) and Frog

For Lunch Today...

Hop in the car, get out of downtown, and checkout Magazine Street Poboy & Sandwich Shop at the corner of Magazine & 1st. On Mondays the daily special is red beans (of course), but they also make a damn good poboy. My favorites are the fried shrimp and the near-vegetarian french fry poboy covered in american cheese and roast beef gravy. But remember: CASH ONLY.

The Gospel According to Lüke

Lüke may be the most popular lunch spot in the CBD. In fact, my guess is that several of you hundreds of devoted readers probably have 12:30 reservations there today. I have lunched at Lüke 5 times over the past month - all with different groups of people. What does that say about John Besh's Alsatian bistro? One word: consistency. If you are looking for a solid meal with good service, then Lüke is a safe bet.

The menu is a melange of culinary fare. Just glance at the list of appetizers. Where else can you order rustic pates and terines, crabmeat maison, and an onion tarte all from the same menu? On my latest lunch at Lüke, I was fortunate enough to dine with the extended Papal family, and we sampled a wide array of Chef Besh's culinary delights.

The pâté de campagne of wild boar comes in a mason jar with a 1/4 inch layer of fat on tap. One serving of this was more than enough for 8 people to enjoy hefty samples. The pâté was rich beyond belief, but the housemade mustard and cornichons provided enough acidity to cut through the fat. The crabmeat maison was excellent, and it just goes to show that when crabmeat is as bountiful and sweet as it is right now, little needs to be added to this wonderful seafood. The boudin noir was a deliciously course grind; but I thought the saute of potato, onions, and apples all caramelized into a menage a trois of goodness was the best part of the dish. Rene would fire me if I forgot to mention the pork rilletes, though I am sad to say that I have never tried them. Last but not least the flamenküche - that wonderful onion tart covered with bacon and Emmenthaler cheese. Simply divine.

The daily specials should be your first stop in deciding on a main course. The whole roasted cochon de lait is succulent. (Ask the waiter to toss in a few slices of skin. Just tell him that you know Rene, and he will hook you up). The veal cheeks with potato gnocchi might be favorite dish on the menu - tender morsels of veal accompanied by soft pillows of potato pasta.

All of the regular menu options are good, but might be a little on the heavy side for lunch. Ordering the shrimp and grits, steak au poivre, or jagerschnitzle with spätzle will guarantee you two things: a deliciously filling meal and zero billables hours for the afternoon.

So if either you are starting to get full from appetizers or need to hit your 2000 hours for the year, I would go with a sandwich. I mean, think about it: How would you make the aforementioned cochon de lait a lighter meal? Why throw it on some bread and call it a sandwich, of course. The BLT of bacon and buster crab is an ingenious invention, and the Luke Burger - a massive pattie of beef covered in bacon, sauteed onions, and Emmenthaler cheese - is one of the top 3 burgers in the city. But the best part about ordering one of these sandwiches is that they all served with the housemade fries, which are cooked in duck fat. Yes, you read that correctly - DUCK FAT.

OK, I just realized something. There is nothing "light" about eating at Lüke. Actually, the grilled paillard of chicken is rather light, but it is nonetheless flavorful.

So there it is. Lüke. You go there because you know what you're going to get. A good meal with fine service. It's an easy 3 foot birdie putt on a short par 4.

Disappointment Begets Joy

I exaggerate, but not often. However, after leaving Nine Roses on the West Bank, I could hardly wait to write the review. This food is damn good. Allow me to set the stage.

Peter invited me to lunch with he and the The Folk Singer. The Folk Singer is currently studying for the bar, so despite her best protestations to the contrary, she is not busy. We wanted Vietnamese Po-boys from Pho Tau Bay. However silly us, Pho Tau Bay is not open on Thursdays. We drove around the West Bank looking for Nine Roses. When we found it, the adventure began.

You know how in movies sometimes the soundtrack abruptly ends when the squares walk into the school dance. Well, a similar thing happened when we walked into Nine Roses. All the patrons (mostly Vietnamese, 90% Asian) turned and stared. First rule of dining out, whenever you walk into a spot and you are out of place only two things can happen. One of them is an amazing meal; that is what we got.

We perused the enormous menu. And seemed to settle on a few choices. Peter ordered Spring Rolls, Pork Meatballs, and the Bun Thit Nuong (char-grilled pork over vermicelli noodles). The Folk Singer ordered hot and sour seafood soup and Curry & Coconut Chicken.

Then the server turned to me. I audibled into the Number 9. "You been here before?" our server asked me.

"No."

"Well then you can't have that dish. You won't like it."

"Well what is it." My inner child now telling me, "If you dont get the number 9 we are burning this place down."

"Is a rar beef."

"Bring it. I'll eat it."

Rule number 17 in dining out, when the server doesn't think you are legit enough/could be a spy from the FDA/or an undercover investigative reporter from 6 On Your Side and refuses to let you order what you want, its got to be good.

The parade of accessories began pouring out of the kitchen: lettuce, Nuoc Mam Sauce, Peanut Sauce, Rice Paper. Then the spring rolls arrived. Through the paper-thin rice paper you could make out 3 large shrimp resting their plump heads on a bed of mint, vermicelli, and pork. An absolute explosion in your mouth. The mint took that roll over the edge, just a wonderful combination of flavors without being overwhelming.

The Folk Singer received a oversized bowl of soup chock full of U-12 shrimp, octopus, and a little crab. Ooohs and ahhs from her side of the table.

Then came my forbidden order. Tenderloin sliced so thin it made the rice paper look like cardboard. The beef was marinated in lemon juice and set atop thinly sliced onions, mint, and cilantro. The process goes like this. Dip the stiff rice paper in the steaming bowl of water, spoon the raw beef, onions, and grassy delight onto the moist wrapper, drop some Nuoc Mam sauce, roll and enjoy. The acidity of the dressing essentially "cooks" the beef. For lack of a more apt description this is steak ceviche. Don't worry the steak is sliced so thinly any bacteria are chopped in half. And I am no scientist but half a bacteria is harmless.

The taste is indescribable. Sour, salty, crunchy, tender and fresh flavorings dominate. You could eat millions of these Vietnamese Carpaccio Tacos. I stopped at 7. What I really loved is how fresh and clean this taste was without being bland.

Peter's pork meatballs arrived. 6 huge balls of ground pork, that were as light to eat as cotton candy and juicy as can be. Unfortunately, the rest of the food began arriving; we could have fed a platoon.

Peter's chargrilled pork came out. Crunchy exterior with a meltingly tender interior. A nice smoky flavor gave way to porky goodness. The cut of pork remains unknown ( Isuggest something from the belly or shank), but whatever cut it was, this was the essence of pork. Pork, thank God for that invention.

Folk Singer did not really share her curry. I guess she did not get the memo that when you eat with the Blackened Out Crew, the rule is bite, bite, pass. She is a rookie, we allow mistakes.

This meal blew away all our expectations. What began as disappointment became overhwleming joy. I can't claim to be the first food writer (for lack of a better term) to discuss the beauty of Vietnamese Cuisine, and I will not be the last, but this food is so incredibly different from anything you have experienced thus far. And Nine Roses does a hell of a job.

I suspect you will really enjoy your visit there. Just make sure to steer clear of anything that they let you order.

Birdie

For Lunch Today...

Since the last few lunch spots have been admittedly low-key, why not blow it out today. Thursday lunch is the new Friday. Restaurant Cuvee offers a 3 course meal for $24.00. Sure that may seem like a sizeable investment for lunch, but in 2 days at Subway you would probably come close to spending that amount. And this ain't a sandwich shop. Well, I should rephrase there is a sandwich on the menu but it is a bacon, chicken and waffle club sandwich.

Restaurant Cuvee is only open for lunch on Wednesdays and Thursdays, a lesson I learned the hard way recently. Chef Bob Iacovone recently challenged Bobby Flay to an Iron Chef challenge. Chef Iacovone lost, but I think the real loser is the guy who plays the Chairman.

Everyone Loves a Creole

Tomato. Gus, a 2 and a half year old Basset Hound, pictured here got really mad recently because we did not take him to the Creole Tomato Fest. He exacted his revenge on us by stealing this perfectly ripe Creole Tomato (it was on a counter top), taking it in the backyard, and enjoying it while lounging in the sun. Afterwards his only complaint was, "it could have used a pinch of salt."

For Lunch Today...

LSU plays this afternoon to stave off elimination. To get yourself in the mood for some Tiger Baseball, why not head to Serio's Po-Boys and Deli in the first block of St. Charles. The name tells you the kinds of food you can expect. The wallpaper is a delightful blend of purple, gold, newspaper print, and old football helmets. Sure the place has a cafeteria feel to it, but the food is good and the place should be raring to go at lunch time today.

I think one of the best things about Serio's is the the owner, Mike, asks you on his website to email him with suggestions or LSU Tiger Talk. Mike is in Omaha this week, but I would love to hear how quickly he responds to your Tiger Talk query.

For Lunch Today...

Bacon, white Bunny bread, a slather of Blue Plate, salt, pepper, and some slices of creole tomatoes.
Smoosh bread. Enjoy.