Antoine's: Is It Worth It?

Shrimp remoulade at Antoine's

Six years ago I spent an afternoon with my grandmother at Touro Hospital. Hazel didn't have much time left and we all knew it. We sat mostly in pensive silence as physicians came in and out. Occasionally, she would look over and smile or try and mouth something. Mostly there was just silence. Per her living will, food, water, and lifesaving maneuvers were withheld and eventually she found peace.

I wish Antoine's had a living will.

If Antoine's did, its servers wouldn't be milling around the front desk swapping stories for the dining room to hear that end in "You gotta crawl in attics n shit?" The life-saving measures of old Carnival clubs and Debbie Does Debutante parties which fill its coffers would be withheld. Antoine's would stop feeding on the tourist dollars of a lunch menu featuring .25 cent flavored martinis. It could just peacefully expire, leaving us with nothing but the memories of a once legendary restaurant.

I don't write this to be mean. I write it because once upon a time Antoine's was a place you went to celebrate and dine. It was big, it was grand, the waiters were charming, the food excellent, and everyone always seemed to be laughing at huge tables littered with glassware and crumbs. At the end of the meal, the lights would always dim and a dance of flame and pastry would captivate and enthrall childhood and adult eyes alike. Men wore ties and women dressed up.

The food at Antoine's is food I love. Old French classics that cooks have been making taste delicious for hundreds of years. Antoine's is not doing so anymore. Witness a plate of shrimp remoulade which tasted like weed killer smells. The shrimp were overcooked to boot. The escargot bordelaise, the sauce tasting suspiciously close to Antoine's marchand de vin, was gritty with flour or cornstarch and topped with cheese you can buy pre-shredded at a Rouses. How is that for upholding culinary standards of excellence?



Perhaps the worst baked oyster dish in town is on the menu at Antoine's in the form of an oyster thermidor. Chewy oysters ladled with ketchup and ham. Say that three times fast and the dead rise. Oysters Rockefeller, while invented here eons ago, are made better elsewhere and likely everywhere. At Antoine's they taste of a waterlogged bag of salad. The credit where due award goes to their oysters Bienville which are rich and creamy. Oysters Foch are delicious and salty under a sturdy cornmeal crust, but when they arrive at the same exact time as baked oysters, they become cold. And cold fried oysters aren't very desirable.

Not even the bar could save this meal. One Sazerac arrived pitch perfect and imbued with the luscious aroma of Herbsaint. The next was just whiskey with a lemon peel. Service was clumsy and overbearing at all the wrong times like a large child in a tiny sandbox. A runner would bring food and before you had a chance to eat, the waiter would ask, "How is everything?" Apparently, he believed I was clairvoyant. An order of souffle potatoes ordered with drinks showed up about an hour later. They were overcooked and greasy, devoid of the lightness that marks a souffle potato's ascent to such great heights. After sitting us at an awful table up against a post in an empty dining room, the host asked "Where are you from?"

"Here," we said.

He seemed genuinely surprised.

"I know you are disappointed," Lindsay later said to me, "you hoped it would be better."

Antoine's is just sad now. Gone is the formality and the touches which made it unique. Antoine's splendor has been replaced by shorts, the tourist trade, and tennis shoes. Gone is the grand dining of Escoffier and Alciatore. Verbatim transaction at table next to ours, "Our house blend of five lettuces tossed with our homemade vinaigrette and crumbled blue cheese...Sure we can leave off the blue cheese and put the dressing on the side," the waiter remarks. He just sold her lettuce and free refills of iced tea.

The other grand dames have held onto traditions and standards, and eventually this has paid off for them. The dining rooms at Galatoire's are full, boisterous, and filled with well heeled locals. Dinner at Arnaud's is still marked by formality and solid cooking. The various rooms at Antoine's are largely empty and deservedly so. Antoine's chased the buck and now all that is left is a pitiful reminder of what was once a treasure.

Look, spare me the emails or comments about how you need to dine with a certain waiter to get a good meal at Antoine's. A waiter isn't cooking the food and that is wherein the problem lies. This type of cuisine can taste good; just not at Antoine's.

You can fool the public for a long time. Brennan's did and look where it got them. Eventually the ties to family traditions loosen when all people can remember is bad meals. I don't pray for Antoine's demise, but unless they get a kitchen upgrade, we are all just waiting in a hospital room. Sadly, there is no living will at Antoine's.

Antoine's: Is It Worth It? Nope.
713 St. Louis St.
581-4422

Ojen Frappe: Is It Worth It?

Blackened Out recently celebrated its 4th birthday. To celebrate, Peter and I threw it a superhero themed party complete with a Spider Man cake. You may not know that this here spot on the www got its start because of Ojen Frappes. I would back link to the article, but like hearing your own voice on an answering machine, it is painful to read.

Ojen was once made by a small family distillery in Spain. It is an anise flavored, sweet liquor, that over time became the official drink of Rex. The Ojen Frappe is nothing more than Ojen, a few dashes of Peychaud's bitters, and crushed ice. It is a delicious, refreshing drink. The legend goes, a member of Rex was entitled to one, and only one, Ojen Frappe before his ride to ensure a good ride.

Unfortunately, the family in Spain who distilled the potion, decided to get out of the liquor business as sales of Ojen had stalled to all but one market. As an aside, had the fmaily held on for the resulting cocktail and spirits boom, Ojen would likely be on the menu of every cocktail club from Brooklyn to Portland. Here is where the story gets interesting. Either Cedric Martin or Bill Goldring (have heard it attributed to both), flew over to Spain and asked the family to push out one more run of bottles. Cases of the stuff arrived and was squired away at the den of Rex, select restaurants, and Martin's wine cellar.

I bought a bottle in 2008 which lasted until the early part of Summer 2010. But now it seems, the city's supply of Ojen has run dry. Correspondence with Neal Bodenheimer of Cure revealed that yes, they had a bottle but it was in their Reserve case and would never be open. But he added that they were working with a historic spirits re-creator to begin producing Ojen once again. There was no Ojen at Luke, where Legend's first run-in with Ojen occurred. So I went to the last place I had Ojen (Christmas 2010), the Hermes Bar at Antoines.

"Nope, all out. Out. But I have a clone, that is pretty close," the waiter said, "called Anis del Mono."

The Ojen Frappe arrived with finely, chipped ice and the correct color. The candied fennel aroma jumped out of the glass. A sip. Texturally, perhaps a bit thinner than Ojen, which always had a high viscosity. I love the way an Ojen Frappe reminds me of the last quarter of a snowball. The way the ice and liquid turn into a seductive adult slush. The cold tempers the heat of the alcohol and the bitters cut the sweetness of the elixir. This had all of that.

Until and if Ojen returns, an Anis de Mono Frappe will do for my Mardi Gras drink of choice. But just one, of course.

"Ojen Frappe" at Hermes Bar - Yep.

Winesday

Rene: A very smooth, well balanced white wine similar to a white burgundy, but different. I get some very slight oak, which makes the wine seem heavier in the mouth. I get a touch of stone fruit- apricots mainly. Nothing overbearing though. Something makes me want veal with mushrooms. Maybe veal marsala or alfredo from a place like Vincent's. Or the porcini crusted veal tenderloin at Stella! could work very well here.

Peter: The first two words that come to mind are straw and spice. Flat on the tongue. Not overly oaky, but it tastes of high alcohol. Need a dish with substance to hold up as a pairing. A nice roasted chicken would do - Mondo does a good one. Or a filet of sauteed snapper, skin on, from Cafe Atchafalaya.

Joe the Wine Guy: What you have here is a 2006 Newton Unfiltered Chardonnay. In the glass, the wine has an inviting dark straw hue and then opens with rich creme caramel, butterscotch, and fresh vanilla bean aromas later revealing baked apple and nutty characters. Flavors of white peach and caramel with a touch of honey lead to a lingering creamy finish. Lobster bisque would be perfect or poached fish or even pasta with a cream sauce. This wine is available at Antoine's and Ruth's Chris and retails for $49.99.

Get Busy Living...

Last week, Ian McNulty, superstar author, rugby aficionado, and sole remaining friend of the wine guy known as Bloggle, wrote a terrific piece in The Gambit about how trends in the restaurant and food world were gaining a foothold in New Orleans cuisine. The article probes a serious question which I believe to be, "Is New Orleans cuisine amenable to change?"

My answer is yes. Painting in broad strokes here, but the concept of "Creole Cuisine" is rooted in the fundamental principle that people move here. They bring with them ideas of food and cooking. They look around New Orleans and say, "How can we do that here." That is the truest definition of Creole cooking.

I cook red beans pretty regularly, but on Sundays, not Mondays. Sundays are when I do wash as like normal Americans, I work on Monday. Because beans are better the next day, I cook them on Sunday and eat them on Monday. Tradition and practice must adapt occasionally or else we all end up looking like this:

Let's take this a step further shall we and put it into hypothetical practice. In general Antoine's created or refined the concept of the American restaurant. For years, Antoine's innovated, explored, and created. Rightly so, they were rewarded with throngs of business, private rooms, a wine cellar as deep as the Mariana Trench, and accolades from Presidents and Popes.

Then they stopped doing what made them famous. Antoine's settled into a parody of itself. A play in which patrons watched understudies perform the leading roles. (It was once told to me by a member of the family which owns Antoine's, "We dont have a chef. We have cooks.") In the meantime, Prudhomme, Chase, Emeril, Spicer, Brigtsen, and now, Link, Besh, and Garcia have passed up Antoine's in terms of the full dining experience. You want to take a client to dinner, you aren't going to Antoine's anymore.

Look, I love going to Antoine's once or twice a year, but how many times can we all pretend the fish isn't dry, or the steak flabby, or that she just isn't that great anymore. Antoine's has become an old beauty queen. One can still see she is gorgeous, but her makeup is smudged and her dress sticks to her slip.

So what to do? Well, the amazing Jimmy Corwell just parted ways with Le Foret. His cooking skill and talent is a very welcome addition to the New Orleans dining scene. He assembled a very sharp, trained team of cooks at Le Foret who eventually will open their own restaurants (assuming Eddie Sapir doesn't get in their way).

Hire Jimmy Corwell. Leave the current kitchen staff there; they can handle the traditional menu and those large banquets. Give Corwell and whatever crew he can find, one room and one menu. Let him create the next Oysters Rockefeller. Let guests once again feel like they are eating in the greatest restaurant in the world. A juxtaposition of the old and the new. You want Oysters Foch? You got it. A puree of butternut squash topped with a foie gras mousse and truffles? Of course. You have a waitstaff any 3 star Michelin restaurant would pay to have. You added a bar. Take it one step further.

You wo'nt lose your street cred, Antoine's. You will attract younger diners who - let's face it - you need to get a hold of right now before you are a distant memory. Imagine the press, the excitement, the waiting lists. Set the bar again, Antoines. Make your food matter as much as the rest of it. And keep a talented chef in New Orleans. This isn't about trends or traditions. It isn't personal; it is business.

Antoine's Wins Culinary Innovation Award

Ferran Adria, Heston Blumenthal, and Grant Achatz have made culinary history with their inventive use of ingredients, ideas, and innovation. But all three of them were literally "blown away, dude" by the culinary creativity of Antoine's, the venerable establishment on St. Louis Street.
Ferran Adria's creation above: tired, stale, and out of date has nothing on Antoine's Baked Alaska, below.
Yesterday the three chefs were on hand to present to GM/CEO of Antoines, Rick Blount, the 2009 Creative Culinarian Award. "It is an honor to present this award to a restaurant who for over 150 years has done the impossible: turn eggs, lemon, and tarragon into an emulsification known as bernaise. How you think of such things, much less create them, I will never know!" Adria exclaimed while gesticulating wildly with his mad scientist hands.

The award recipients were not shocked at all by this award. "We at Antoine's have always been innovators: Oysters Rockefeller, Pompano Pontchartrain, Cafe Brulot. We are the definition of innovation. It's good to see the recognition we so rightfully deserve," stated Blount.

"I have tried for years to something as simple and magical as Souffle Potatoes. I even had a sex swing made to carry a hot potato into a cold soup. Yet nothing I have done comes close to the imagination springing forth from that kitchen," echoed Achatz.

In fact, Achatz, so moved by the creativity of the Old Grand Dame asked Blount if he could stagier at Antoine's in the fall. Blount politely offered Achatz a position on the line making Eggs Benedict. Achatz was beside himself with excitement. "Seriously this is so effing cool, I can't wait to blog it," replied Achatz.

But don't think Antoine's is ready to rest on its laurels. They just put in a bar. A move that has caused shockwaves throughout the restaurant world. "A bar! So people can spend money while they wait to spend money. This is freaking genius. This is the whole point of molecular gastronomy: to get chefs and restaurateurs and, ultimately, diners, to think about food and the restaurant experience in a different way. I wonder why we didn't think of a bar first?" questioned a longtime waiter from Galatoire's who prefers to remain anonymous.

Following the presentation, Antoine's hosted a banquet for a new social club in New Orleans who plans on parading down the street, throwing "beads", and giving twenty year old girls the chance to be queen for the day. The working name is Rex.

Go Get Wicked Smart

A press release from Mrs. McCall...

The Young Leadership Council and the Literary Alliance of Greater New Orleans are hosting a special panel discussion on Wednesday, November 5th in conjunction with the YLC's One Book One New Orleans project. This year's novel is City of Refuge by Tom Piazza.

The book tells the story of two very different New Orleans families and their struggles during and after Katrina. The panel discussion will highlight one strong theme throughout the novel – New Orleans' identity through its unique food and beverage. Panel members include Ralph Brennan, Jim Monaghan, Jr. of Molly's at the Market, and Sara Roahen.

The discussion is from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm at the Southern Food and Beverage Museum. You do not have to be a member of the YLC or Literary Alliance to attend. Actually, you don't have to have read the novel to enjoy the panel (but it wouldn't hurt). But, space is limited…

For more information visit our website at http://www.onebookoneneworleans.com/.

Look, you are just getting stupider every day that you waste reading this blog. So if you have time tonight, go to SOFAB, listen to real writers, get some knowledge, and then start your own blog.

And another good link from Ben Jamon. I know Peter is very stoked to see the French Laundry on that list.

Hurricane Eats: Where Opportunity + Cash = Deliciousness

Over the weekend one of my friends in Houston sent me this text message: "Quick: I need your best hurricane recipe."

My response was: "Pat O'Brien's hurricane mix. Add lots of rum."

But that got me to thinking about all of my meals during the aftermath of hurricanes. For the most part, we fire up our charcoal grills and throw on whatever frozen meats we have tucked away in the black hole of our freezer. But sometimes the food gods smile upon us by delivering an unexpected treat, and after Katrina I was fortunate enough to be the beneficiary of such an instance.

While evacuated in the Red Stick in early September '05, my uncle procured one of those special passes which allowed him access into the city long before the general public would eventually return. Once he entered the French Quarter, he came upon Antoine's where a few workers were emptying the contents of the refrigerator. Countless crates of perishables were being tossed out, but the freezers had not defrosted so there was close to a half ton of meat left which had not yet spoiled (in fact, the workers were handing out ice to first responders). Always one to seize an opportunity, my uncle decided that even if we were going to be away from our homes for a while, we should still be eating as we would if we were still living in the Big Easy.

For some unknown reason - I like to think it was divine intervention - my uncle was armed with a mammoth sized fishing ice chest. After prices were negotiated, he handed over an undetermined number of benjamins and then loaded up with a cooler full of individually vacuumed packed petit filets and double-cut lamb chops. And so we ate ... twice a day ... for the next three weeks, nothing but the finest meats. I just wish that we would have had a nice hollandaise to go along with them.

Here's to hoping that our friends in southeast Texas come across a nice brisket to hold them over till all is well again in Houston.

Cocktails, cocktails everywhere and more than a drop to drink

But first lunch at Cochon. Arrived around noon to a still barren dining room. By 12:15 the place was slammed. We decided to eat light. Started with a Hen and Andouille Gumbo. Dark, earthy, gelatinous and once again lives up to Link's status as the greatest gumbo assemblymen in New Orleans. Then a wedge salad with ranch, bacon, radishes, and croûtons. I know what you are thinking, "Wow, salad, what a waste." And I agree with you in general; however, not here. This salad was the perfect way to wade into a meal. Plus, we needed something green.

Next, an order of rabbit livers on toast with pepper jelly. I am not crazy about rabbit livers (totally a textual issue) but Lady loved them. Also, an order of Fried Boudin Balls with house cured jalepenos and stone ground mustard. The pig gets no higher than right here. Crunchy exterior gives way to a rice filled bonanza of spices. If Link and Stryjewski opened a movie theater, this dish would be their popcorn.

Then an order of pork cheeks over a corn cake. One can not help but notice the genealogy of this dish and its roots to the Bayona shrimp over coriander black bean cake. The pork cheeks are slow cooked, then molded into a hockey puck and sauteed with a mustard based sauce that could use a little more acidity. Finally, a simple order of hot sausage and peppers on top of creole cream cheese grits. For me this is the dish that represents Cochon. Soulful, simple, hearty fare with a light handed touch of upscale dining. Get this dish if you go; but good luck getting a reservation. I called for a Saturday night reservation recently (for about 3 weeks from now), the hostess informed me, "We can seat you at 5:30 or 11:45 p.m.

A great Spanish red and near excellent service rounded out the meal. Lady went back to work, I grabbed some dog food and went by Fed Ex. No time for Bed, Bath, Beyond.

"Are you sure we have to go?" asked Lady. It was 6 p.m. on Friday and bot of us were feeling the effects of a long week.

"Come on we will go for one maybe two drinks and if it is lame, we are out of there," I responded.

By the end of the night we would both be glad we went. The Japanese Room at Antoine's that evening has a capacity crowd of over 200 people who were in the mood to try as many cocktails as possible, pop an Oysters Foch or two, and raise money for a good cause. You have been to Antoine's, let us focus on the libations.

Republic Beverage sponsored the party and provided the booze and the bartenders. Along each side of the Japanese Room were tables set up with 2 cocktails apiece. I began with a Sazerac. I have no idea where my desire for anise flavors came from, but I am happy to oblige its tempestuous tug. Then, a French 75, Lady's favorite cocktail, for now. Cognac, Lemon Juice, Champagne, simple syrup, and a lemon peel. The glasses the cocktail was poured into were still hot from the dishwasher, turning the drink into a tepid mess, not dissimilar from drinking lemon scented bathwater. You are very welcome for that mental image.

A Manhattan, a Screwdriver, an Absinthe Frappe (again with the Anise) and a Vieux Carre Cocktail grabbed our attention at various moments. Then, Lady stumbled across the Pretty Baby and immediately had a new cocktail. Similar to a White Russian, this cocktail combined vodka (Stilleto brand), Creme de Cacao, milk, and grenadine. The Pretty Baby looks like Pepto-Bismol and tastes like a strawberry milkshake. A grasshopper finished up the dessert course.

Finally we each grabbed a twist on the classic Mint Julep. This version muddled together fresh Ponchatoula strawberries, mint, and sugar. Then, topped the mixture with ice and a generous pour of New Orleans Dark Rum. I think I have a new drink for Derby Day.

While this drink was being poured, I grabbed a hold of Fr. Tom and asked him for a tour of Antoine's. Earlier in the day, I heard him say, "If you see me tonight, ask me for a tour...my favorite thing to do is give tours of Antoine's." What a great way to spend an evening. His stories, coupled with the restaurant's many varied rooms, created a memory for a lifetime. Fr. Tom should give this tour to tourists and charge $35 a head, easily worth it. Following the tour, we bid adieu. At around 9:15 Antoine's was still fairly crowded with laughter and good cheer spilling from the storied restaurant. Ohh yeah, and we supported a good cause. What did you do on Friday to help humanity?

All of this for me, you shouldn't have

Your humble scribe begins his return from exile on the isle of St. Louis, this weekend. Much like the heralded Napoleon House was devised for Napoleon, Antoine's (one of the oldest continually run restaurants in America) has decided to throw a massive celebration to welcome me back into the bosom of New Orleans's motherly embrace.

In reality, the event is to celebrate the cocktails and appetizers of Antoine's and to raise money for a good cause. You can find the information here. $45 for a night of food and drinks, kind of a steal according to the Exchequer. For those of us who were left out in the cold for the Cocktail themed movie nights a few weeks ago, this would be a great opportunity to make up for that. Hope you can join us.

Also, you may want to check Fr. Tom's site for more information.