Thornton Watermelon Cocktail

Post-Tales of the Cocktail finds my bar is filled with all manners of liquors, cordials, mixers, and miscellany. The vast majority of which requires Googling and consultation with all manners of cocktail books to determine what to do with it. Normally, my favorite flavored vodka is gin; but this bottle of Belvedere Lemon Tea vodka has an interesting subdued flavor. Problem is, I couldn't think of anything to do with it.

The normal roster of vodka drinks (Greyhound, Screwdriver, Moscow Mule, etc...) would have obscured the citrus in the vodka. I needed something to contrast with the vodka.  I happened to be smoking some ribs and was already thinking of  traditional accompaniments to ribs. Iced tea and watermelon are two standards at a barbecue. Luckily, like any well rounded kitchen, I had a mason jar of homemade watermelon syrup in the fridge that we scored on a trip to the Delta. I assume you do as well.

This combination of flavors just made sense but with the added benefit of being delicious. The watermelon syrup adds a nice viscosity to the dink, while the orange bitters and lime juice help to sharpen the drink without enforcing their acidic will.

Thornton Watermelon

3 oz Belvedere Lemon Tea Vodka
1 oz watermelon syrup*
1/4 oz of lime juice
3 dashes of Orange Bitters

Combine the above in a mixing glass. Add ice. Shake for fourteen and one quarter revolutions of the Beatles White album. Strain into a chilled coupe.

* You probably don't have a mason jar of homemade watermelon syrup because you are an anti-Luddite. This is ok. Squeeze chunks of watermelon until you get a half cup of watermelon juice. Add a 1/4 cup of sugar and warm while stirring. Once mixture has reduced by half, strain and cool. That ought to be close enough.

If You Like Pina Coladas...

... then you should be counting down the minutes until Wednesday.

While the rest of us were getting caught in the rain last week, the good folks behind Tales of the Cocktail were gearing up for the 10th anniversary celebration of the world's premier cocktail festival.  Starting tomorrow, the French Quarter becomes the center of the mixology universe, with bartenders and liquor reps from all over the globe descending on the Monteleone to trade tips, introduce new products, and celebrate the majestic power of a well mixed cocktail.

This past Friday our compatriot Todd Price gave the run down on the history of Tales, its evolution over the past decade, and what the future may hold. He also gave out a few tips on how to make the most of your Tales experience, and you would do well to heed his advice. And just to be sure that you're suffering from information overload, we have a few recommendations of our own.

In the eyes of most locals, Tales has earned a reputation as a hipster convention, with the number of fedoras increasing exponentially with each year. While some people may feel out of place among the many attendees sporting skinny jeans and sideburns, I have found the Tales crowd to be accepting of all cocktail lovers, whether amateur or expert. Although most of us are probably not interested in learning how to make our own bitters or forage for our cocktail ingredients (yes, Tales has seminars on both of those), we appreciate the majestic qualities of simple but endless combinations of ice, booze, fruit, etc., and Tales offers a program diverse enough to appeal to cocktail enthusiasts across the entire learning spectrum.

One of the easiest ways to wade into the cocktail culture is to attend one of the Spirited Dinners, which are being held on Wednesday Thursday night. The dinners allow for amateur cocktail lovers to sit back, relax, and let the cocktails come to you. While many of the Spirited Dinners sold out long ago, there are a few with open seats and worth considering. Fans of the tiki culture (of which Rene is a proud member) need look no further than Donald Link's Calcasieu, which says Aloha to NOLA with a luau themed dinner. La Petite Grocery, Coquette, Tamarind, and Iris also have open seats available.

Finally, fans of the red solo cup* can relive their trash can punch days with the premier of a new event at this year's Tales: Street Food and Go Cups. On Sunday afternoon Lafayette Square will be encircled by a handful of the city's favorite food trucks who will be dishing out brisket tacos and gourmet grilled cheese sandwiches while bartenders mix up a few drinks which I imagine will be a bit more sophisticated than the everclear and kool-aid concoctions that we used to drink in college, which is a good thing because our hangover recovery time has increased from 3 hours to 3 days.

Cheers.

* I really hate that Toby Keith song.

Tales of the Cocktail Plus Trivia

Next week, cocktails will be the toast of the town (You kidding me, of course the pun was intended). The explosive growth of Tales of the Cocktail has been quite remarkable as each year whatever slight hiccups from the year before have been scrubbed clean with bartender's friend. In fact, Tales of the Cocktail is solidly in my top 3 favorite times of the year in New Orleans.

Every summer as a sign of our largess to our faithful readers we like to give something away before going on vacation for a few weeks. We usually wrap this up in a contest. Said contest's results are usually subject to much scrutiny and cries of foul play. This year we are returning to an old favorite: trivia. This year the winner (whoever gets most correct or if tie coin flip) of our trivia contest will receive two VIP tickets to Meet the Craft Distillers. Email your responses to blackenedout; we use gmail or leave in comments section. Here we go:

1) Above is a photo of a bar. Which bar is it?

2) The original bar that stood inside the Absinthe Room (now called the Old Absinthe House Bar) is now located where?

3) What according to H.L. Mencken is the only American invention to rival the Sonnet?

4) Name the cocktail: Gin, lemon juice, maraschino, and creme de violette.

5) Omitting what ingredient changes a Salty Dog into a Greyhound?

6) Define the term: Straight Up, Neat, and On the Rocks

7) Just what the hell is Mezcal?

8) What came first the Rum Runner or the Bootlegger?

9) What is the name of the bar that Brian Flanagan opens?

10) Which New Orleans bar invented the Flaming Dr. Pepper?

Bonus Question courtesy of Cheryl Charming, bartender at The Bombay Club

After dying at sea, how was Admiral Nelson's body preserved for the long boat ride back to England?

The Post-Katrina Top 20: #20 - #16

No one will argue that the game was forever changed on August 29, 2005. As we approach the five year anniversary of that fateful day, no small number of scribes will dare to put paper to pen and describe post-Katrina existence. Over the next month you will read hundreds (if not thousands) of articles on the recovery of New Orleans and the Gulf Coast. Most will be well-written pieces focusing on how far we have come, how much further we have to go, what is better, what is worse, and what ain't dere no more.

We could wax on poetically about the casualties of the storm, but we have never been known to cry in our beers. An equally emotional tale could be written about the restaurateurs who rebuilt and persisted through the recovery, but that's a whole other task to which we will leave for the professionals. Instead, we want to focus on the enormous growth of the New Orleans restaurant and beverage scene over the last 5 years. So each Monday over the next four weeks, we will be counting down our favorite additions and improvements to the New Orleans food and drink scene since Katrina. Better than before? You tell us.

#20: Cure - Our first brush with Cure posed some... ahem... challenges. It occurred about one month after the amber-hued apothecary opened. After waiting at the bar for fifteen minutes, Peter tried to order a vodka tonic and was told, "We don't serve that here." What he got instead was a sweet drink topped by a cute umbrella. But both Cure and our experiences there have changed for the better. The converted firehouse now dispenses one of the city's best cocktail experience. Neil Bodenheimer consistently pushes his staff, led by Kirk Estopinal, to develop new cocktails incorporating long forgotten elixirs. Plus, the bartenders at Cure have gotten over their original celebrity cache and now focus their energies on just getting you a drink. All this makes Cure one of the most delightful places in the city to grab a cocktail.

#19: Stanley - While the concept was born pre-Katrina, Chef Scott Boswell first opened his upscale diner only out of necessity when renovations to sister restaurant Stella! were derailed by the levee failures. After a year-long run in an adjacent space on Decatur, closing down for the reopening of Stella!, and moving to a prominent location on Jackson Square, Stanley is now one of the most popular breakfast spots in the French Quarter, where the Breaux Bridge Benedict has diners craving boudin first thing in the morning.

#18: Huevos and Crescent Pie & Sausage Co. - Disaster beget a second restaurant for Bart Bell and Jeff Baron as well, when the building which was originally supposed to house Crescent Pie & Sausage Co. collapsed during Hurricane Gustav. In serious need of cash flow, the duo began serving breakfast next door at Huevos while the new home of Crescent Pie was being constructed next door. Patrons still flock to Huevos for tamales and chorizo in the morning; but when the sun goes down, the shift focuses to the offbeat pizzas and flaky crusted handpies at the quirky restaurant on the corner.

#17: The Meteoric Rise of Tales of the Cocktail - Tales of the Cocktail began before Katrina, but perhaps no festival better showcases why people love coming to New Orleans. People travel to the Big Easy to have a good time, explore, and drink. Tales does all of this and more. Led by the charming Ann Tuennerman, her husband Paul, and a team of Angels, everyone from cocktail geeks to beach bums, industry vets to molecular mixologists can find a seminar, tasting or party to their liking. Just the sheer volume of people, brands, and PR gurus who show up to pitch the latest rum or new cordial make Tales an indispensable item on any cocktail aficionado's calendar. As one brand rep told us, "If your product isn't at Tales, you lose an entire year of revenue, recipes, and respect." Plus, any festival that can draw almost twenty thousand people to New Orleans in the middle of July deserves a hearty cheers from us.


#16 Food from South of the Border - Every cloud has a silver tequila lining. The Mexican and Central American food scene in New Orleans has never been greater, and it started with the humble taco truck. Originally these Mexican meals-on-wheels catered specifically to the growing number of laborers who flocked to the city for recovery work, but soon people of every creed and color could be seen standing in line for affordable lunches of barbacoa and carnitas. Several vendors have capitalized on their success by moving into permanent spaces, but others like Taqueria D.F. continue on as modern day chuck wagons. With newbies like Taceaux Loceaux catering to late night crowds around town, the taco truck looks to be a delicious fad which will be sticking around for the foreseeable future. The scene has further grown as places like Restaurante Telemar, Taqueria Guerrero, and Pupuseria La Macarena have set up shop all over town showing that the food of Central and South America is as varied and interesting as the countries themselves. We look forward to watching these cuisines establish a permanent foothold in the New Orleans scene.

A View From Behind The Bar

Over the last eight decades, America has gone on quite the ride: the Depression, World War II, the outdoor grilling, luau themed fifties, hippies, women's lib, disco, the cocaine fueled 80s, martini bars, and craft beer. Brian Rea has been lucky enough to witness some of the most exciting events in American history from behind the bar. Rea, 83, will deliver what promises to be a hilarious look at Bartending in the Dark Ages (50's, 60's, and 70's) at this year's Tales of the Cocktail from 10:30-Noon on Saturday. This will be his third time presenting at Tales, "They have no standards, these people. They keep inviting me back," Rea cautions.

As the seminar is rather early for a cocktail party, Rea will greet the attendees with a Ruddy Mary, the gin lover's answer to a Bloody Mary. Rea began bartending in the Fifties, a time when bartenders were second class citizens and few customers ordered anything but the classics. Rea explains, "Manhattans, Aviations, Between the Sheets, Martinis, Scotch. That is what people ordered. The booze was higher proof plus they drank more in bars then in their homes."

Most domestic images of the fifties and sixties center on a housewife raising 2.5 kids then fixing her husband a perfect martini at 5 p.m. Dinner follows at 6 p.m. This idyllic myth continues to perpetuate on shows like Mad Men, a show which Rea consulted on. "That was utter media bullshit," Rea demystifies, "but they got the cocktails right."

Bartending in New York lacked the celebrity cache today's mixologists and bar chefs enjoy. The oldest bartender in the place was in charge of training. Read here: the guy who couldn't find a better job. No one went to bartending school. Bartending was, and still is, backbreaking work. Beer still came in wooden barrels, ice had to be chipped from large whole blocks, no television to distract patrons, no air condition, and perhaps most saddening for Rea, "No broads either working or in the bar."

Wearing a white coat and making next to nothing but constantly observing the operational side of the bar business allowed Rea to work in some of the best New York bars before moving to Los Angeles in the early sixties. In the sixties the whole bar business changed with the debut of the Pill. Suddenly women wanted to burn bras, wear miniskirts, and drink with the men. Cocktails became more elaborate affairs with more descriptive names like Pink Squirrels, Black Cods, and Golden Cadillacs. "And everyone was smoking dope. We had pot, broads. I made Harvey Wallbangers up the Wazoo," Rea says.

Soon Rea found himself working for Host International running airport bars around the world. In 1972, noticing the uniqueness of New Orleans' "drink anywhere" culture, Rea placed a golf cart loaded with hooch in Armstrong International and staffed it with pretty girls in hot pants and go-go boots. The crew listened to air traffic control on a headset. When the girls got the word that Flight 654 or the non-stop from Cleveland was delayed, they drove the cart to the corresponding gate and the party began.

Rea is a man full of opinions and wit. His favorite cities to drink in? "Cities with good public transportation: New York, Chicago, Boston. New Orleans is good, cause no one seems to care about laws. West of the Mississippi, save San Francisco, there ain't one city worth a damn to drink in. The automobile culture killed the drinking culture."

Martini bars? "Bullshit. A creme brulee martini? Get out of town."

His last drink on earth? "A Sidecar. But a real one made with Cognac, not Brandy. And Cointreau, not sweet and sour mix, or Calvados like one asshole tried to serve me. A Sidecar is a beautiful drink when done correctly."

The new age of bartending? "Whatever happened to real bartending? Look the customer is not there to window shop. They want a drink and they want it now. They are more impressed with themselves than they should be. It should not take me four and half minutes to get a God damn drink."

Rea has a host of other anecdotes and stories about his time watching people drink, but it would be best if you heard it from him the horse's mouth on Saturday at Tales.

Sidecar - credit Harry's Bar in Paris

1.5 ounces of VS Cognac
3/4 ounce of Cointreau
3/4 ounce of lemon juice

Shake with ice and strain into a well chilled cocktail glass with a sugared rim. Garnish with an orange or lemon peel.

The 2009 Blackened Out State Dinner

Once or twice a year, the loyal denizens of this cyber dark alley gather at a predetermined spot to drink and nibble on victuals. These events are timed with the New Orleans Wine and Food Experience and Tales of the Cocktail.

Last year's First State Dinner was replete with delicious food, biodynamic wine (it means you get hungover), and a cougar! You can read about last year's juvenile delinquency here and there.

We also dominated the Tales of the Cocktail at Stella!. No embarassment was spared.

This year the 2009 Official Blackened Out State Dinner will take place at La Cote Brasserie on May 20, 2009. Here is the menu. We chose this location based on a variety of factors including but not limited to: GPS proximity to the Red Eye, the passed apps, Peter's ideal restaurant concept, and the ability of most of us to skateboard there from work.

Scheduled to appear are Peter, The Pope, Lindsay, BB Gunner, Palm Room Hostess, Donnie Boy Riguez (with Catfish Erin on the Accordion), and a host of other characters. But most importantly, you. If you would like to join us, just call over to La Cote at (504) 613-2350 and reserve your spot now. Put together your own table or just lurk from the corner, we don't care. Nor do we judge.

This is a really fun night. Plus, there is always the chance for it to turn into an early morning. And it is Peter's last trip to New Orleans until August 1. So catch him while you can.

Limos by A Confidential.

EDIT

LATE BREAKING NEWS: In a stunning announcement some have heralded as "quite dangerous" Legend will be in attendance at this year's State Dinner. Participants are encouraged to gird thy loins.

The Past is Half Empty

A few months ago, we chronicled our experience at the Tales of the Cocktail Spirited Dinner at Stella!. What we alluded to was the utter prevalence of the grandiose, self-importance of the cocktail experts and aficionados and how this in a way soured the night. The New York Times has run a more interesting and better crafted piece exploring the same. Shocking, we know, but we might as well get upstaged by a dying newspaper.

This is my favorite part:

"Just when Manhattan’s most ambitious bartenders had started to resemble a troupe of historical re-enactors, sporting antique patterns of facial hair as they concoct 19th-century julep recipes, along comes Apotheke, with a host of drinks that Diamond Jim Brady wouldn’t recognize."

Following the Spirited Dinner, I had a discussion with a noted New Orleans food bloggist/lawyer/raconteur/seal clubber who dined at Iris. His response to the night can be summed up thusly, "I needed a fedora and some tight jeans to fit in."

Thankfully for all he does not own either, but perhaps he will grow a pencil thin mustache, the Boston Blackie kind.

A good cocktail has a certain magic and transporting quality, but let's not pretend it can replace the Flux Capacitor. And costume parties, especially those with some clever theme along the lines of "Ghosts Travel to Outer Space and Encounter the Elizabethan Period" or "Dirty Old Nuns and Catholic School Boys", provide hours of fun and endless opportunities for inappropriate statements. But there is no need to combine the two.

Drinks desire to be enjoyed and savoured. When you discuss and meticulously recreate a classic cocktail (down to using lake harvested ice), one crosses a dangerous line. The line between enjoyment and obsession. The only thing a well made drink should make you do is order another one.

In The Soul of a Chef and The Making of a Chef, Michael Ruhlman discusses the idea that one of the hallmarks of cooking is that a dish is a dish the world around. What he means by this is Sole Veronique, Kung Pao Chicken, or a hamburger have a defined and exact standard. There is but one true version of each dish. However, no two restaurants serve the same dishes; well, outside of McChain's Tapas Grill and Singles Bar. A Plato's Cave of dishes, if you will. In many ways there is a similar desire for an exact recipe for cocktails.

When bartenders begin messing with a Brandy Alexander they have done two fundamental things. First, they have created something new. Secondly, they have worn away at the protective enamel of what defines and distinguishes a Brandy Alexander. If the resulting drink is called a Champagne Alexander no harm done. However, usually the menu writers guild mandates that the drink be called a Brandy Alexander, with cute parenthesis.

Many restaurant menus have turned into paragraph long entries that require a thesaurus, atlas, and a lawyer. You know the types: "Holstein Farm's raised porcine shoulder over a caraway consomme wilted spinach fricassee, Mackinaw Island peach sorbetto, a reduction of 'mushroom juice', and artisan salami". Great now what the hell did I order.

The day may be fast approaching when cocktail menus exhibit similar phraseology. If so the tendency of people to explore cocktails and other handcrafted, expertly prepared goods may weaken. Sometimes its just easier to say "Budweiser". After all Bud is an import now.

Recognition of historical drinks must not become anchored by the constraints of the past. New products, flavors, and techniques can coexist with recognition that a Manhattan is a damn fine drink. But if you subsitute Rum for Rye and replace the cherry with guava, what do you get and so on and so forth...

So I guess the point of this rambling is, how do you enjoy and honor a virtue without it turning into a vice?

A Most Spirited Dinner

Last Thursday our rowdy crew of Turks descended upon Stella! for the Tales of the Cocktail Spirited Dinner. Stella! is an absolutely beautiful restaurant with brick and linen walls, exposed wood, candlelit, and my favorite breath mints in the bathroom. However the food has a definite modern twist and technique.

Peter and I arrived and began sampling the cocktails. The first drink was by far the gem of the evening. A St. Germain Redux combined Beefeater Gin, St. Germain Elderflower, Club Soda, and Champagne with a twist of grapefruit. Delightfully dry, and refreshing; causing more than one guest to remark, "This is like an upscale Gin Bucket."

A shrimp and veal gyoza dumpling with a jalepeno emulsion and coconut curry. It was very good. The heat of the jalepeno and the coolness of the coconut curry combined to enhance the shrimp in the dumpling. While none of us got much of a veal flavor, this amuse was certainly delicious.

First Course Cocktail arrived, groans came next. The Fresa Brava combined Jalepeno infused Tequila, Yellow Chartreuse, lemon juice, simple syrup, and strawberry. Tasted on its own, this drink was barely palatable. The jalepeno had to much force, leaving one with a tingly feeling reminscent of a Night Spent in Paris.

The First Course was Peanut Butter and Jelly Fish with a Summer Melon Kimchee. The heat advertised on the menu was absent, however that was a smart decision considering the drink more than adequately "brought the heat". Jellyfish if you are wondering, when battered in tempura and deep fried, tastes like deep fried tempura.

Second course cocktail was the "Ewwwwww Ewwwwwww Gypsy Woman": Tequila, Vermouth, Green Chartreuse, and Celery Bitters. Ehhh, good; but really anything was an upgrade over the Fresa Brava.

Accompanying the gypsies, tramps and thieves was a beautiful pink lobster roe agnolotti with edamame puree, crabmeat, and a cognac-soy creme. Boy was that good. An interesting note on this dish. To prepare the pasta dough, Chef Boswell uses raw lobster roe which is green. And as the pasta cook the pasta turns that rich pink/red that cooked lobster has. I thought this was cool. Of course I also loved Winds of Change by the Scorpions.

Next cocktail, The Chaplin, really hit a comfort zone. Combining Bourbon, Dry Sherry, Amaro, Cointreau, and Orange Bitters, this dish stood up to and complimented the accompanying course. The dish reminded one of those cold weather bourbon drinks (Old Fashioned's, Sazerac's, etc...) while also tasting totally distinctive.

Last savory course was a Surf and Turf. Tender filet topped with grilled shrimp, Sake glazed sweet potato, and Kabayaki butter. Kabayaki is a paste made of soy, sake, and carrots. It added a good amount of sweetness to the dish, which by the end came slightly overwheleming. All in all this dish had it all. The beef was incredible tender, the shrimp provided the grilled flavor and texture, the sweet potato and butter the sweetness, and the fried brocolli rabe the bitter.

Dessert cocktail was strong. And by strong I mean seeing stars, hair on chest, moonshine blindness strong. Cognac and Ginger Liqueur swirled with a cinnamon stick. Great drink , if it had been 20 degrees outside.

Dessert was interesting. A green tea ice cream with a forzen ginger and Grand Marnier Creme Brulee. Frozen Creme Brulee to me is not much different than ice cream, so I didnt quite get it (texturally). However, the flavors were interesting and the presentation very well thought out.

Finally a dessert amuse: homemade marshmallows and cinnamon meringues. I love that little touch. Peter, Pope, Lady and I are contemplating tackling the tasting menu at Stella!; anyone interested may join.

We had a wonderful evening. I have one observation though. If I told you you could go to a dinner with wine snobs or a dinner for cocktail afficionados, you would most likely opine that the cocktail dinner would be more fun. I suggest this is because wine seems so serious and and require special waiters with french titles, decanters, and special phrases; whereas cocktails are how you unwind at the end of a long day.

However, wine people are more fun. There is an inherent academic aspect to cocktail folks. They discuss the origins of a bitter just as serious as a wine maker talks about the varietal. Yet, somehow those discussions are more snobbish when concerning cocktails then wine. I am not sure why this is and perhaps I am wrong. But the difference can be summed up thusly. At the NOWFE Dinner, there was an aspect of group sharing and discovery of the wines that we all found enjoyable. At the Spirited Dinner, it was almost as if we were lucky to be let in on the secret of why this cocktail was over our heads.

But our thanks to the staff at Stella!, the Bar Chefs, and all who made this a great evening. See you next year.

Now if you will excuse me...

I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it. Anyone who wants to tag along is more than welcome.

-Steve Zissou

Stella, prepare to be boarded.

Do not expect genius tomorrow, for you have already received your fair share. If you are lucky, we may have some incoherent ramblings, more so than usual.

Reasons why you should come to State Dinner, The Remix

If you are still on the fence as to whether or not you would like to join us on July 17th as we celebrate the Tales of the Cocktail Spirited Dinner at Stella! allow this photo essay to sway or dissaude you. These photos were taken at the First State Dinner which took place at Vizards.

The night starts out tastfully enough. Good friends reconnecting and toasting the joys of life.

In this picture you can see in the background a painting of some Bluebloods lunching at Galatoire's. And they are exposing their breasts. This will be important later.

Girls! Girls! Girls!

If you get hungry, we have food.

You can eat very close to real live bloggers. Most people pay a fortune for an opportunity like this. Plus Rene will attempt to look like a Sumo wrestler and an Italian Mafia Don at the same time.

Everyone has a really good time laughing at Rene's jokes, which are always really funny. During this skit Rene was discussing why the last thing you ever want to do is be the last guy in a casino.

Peter takes his job as note taker extremely serious. He did not even blink an eye when Hammer stole his wine.

There is a very good chance a Cougar will volunteer to take your group's photo and the whole time be exposing her left breast. Then she will take a picture with you showing the same. And B Gunner will lick his lips.

Past results are no guarantee of future performance; but if you would like to join us please go here to buy your ticket.

Call to Arms

Recently this rapscallion, Robert Peyton, has used the Internet to publish outlandish, salacious, and dangerous rumors about the crew behind this noble journalistic institution. Obviously Mr. Peyton did not read the "Terms of Use" Contract which controls the entire Internet. If he did, he would remember that the only information which can be posted on the world wide web must be 100% accurate and/or absolutely true.

Perhaps one of us assualted Mr. Peyton with a knife, but neither of us are Turks. Peter could be Armenian, but Peter is still awaiting the gynecological survey he requested from the Mormons, or something like that.

Indeed, the Blackened Out Crew and Fan will dine at Stella. Mr. Peyton and his cohorts have chosen to dine across town at Iris on the evening of July 17th. Perhaps it is the prospect of fun, hilarity, bonhomie, and general tomfoolery that they seek to avoid. Or perhaps they need a more secluded spot to plan their impending retirements. Regardless, the editors of this stalwart and our crew of merry eaters issue the following statement to Mr. Peyton:

Please meet us at a place of mutual convenience following your gustatory celebration so that we may duel on the neutral ground. We will take the streetcar towards your restaurant and your gang of misfits is instructed to take the streetcar towards the Quarter. We shall meet at Fat Harry's. You, sir, may choose the weapon. Choose wisely, and remember Blackened Out would never bring a knife to a gun fight.

Signed,
The Blackened Out Armenian (perhaps) and Frog

The Scene of the Crime Ahead of Time

On Thursday July 17th the Blackened Out State Dinner, The Remix will take place at Stella. This is the menu, if you are scared of jellyfish join the club. I look at this meal as a chance to vindicate the lashing I took by a jellyfish at Navare Beach in 1991. Its called payback, jellyfish, and it is a bitch.

Here is how this works. I can not make reservations for you. If you would like to join us and by all means do; you need to make your own reservation and purchase a ticket from this website. Scroll down and click on the buy tickets link. So far the crew is the following: Palm Room Hostess, MC Hammer and 2 Legit 2 Quit, the BB Gunners, Peter (hopefully), We Won't Get Sick Again(better names coming). We are still waiting to hear back from Le Bucket (who is beginning something called a residency) and The Zanimal.

This dinner will be a lot of fun. When you register for it, shoot us an email so we can call Stella and tell them everyone in our group. That way we can structure tables accordingly.

Seriously, 85 bucks (plus a 15 dollar enrollment fee) for 4 courses with booze at Stella is criminal. Join us readers, I can only promise you one thing: a hell of a night.

Tales of the Cocktail Heads Up

Begins July 16th. Information and tickets available here. This festival presents a wonderful opportunity to learn about the drink which New Orleans birthed forth upon an unsuspecting world. In fact one could make the argument in one paragraph that our nation's organized crime "dillema" can be blamed on one man: Antoine Peychaud. And here is how I got there.

Before Mr. Peychaud began mixing cocktails in his coquetiers, hard alcohol consumption claimed frontiersmen, moonshiners, and a few other rascally individuals as its devotees. Mr. Peychaud made these lickers potable, this in turn increased American's desire for the hooch. The same people who today want you to stop driving cars and stop using paper bags to make groceries, 100 years ago fought against the proliferation of the abomination of American Society at the hands of booze. Hence, a little experiment known as prohibition gave birth to network of criminals, bath tub gin men, and desirous consumers. When booze became legal again, the Mafia decided to expand into drugs, organized labor, waste management, and other lucrative businesses. So thanks to Mr. Peychaud (perhaps the first crooked pharmacist), we got the Mafia.

The above is by no means factually, historically, or grammatically correct.

Also, on July 17th the Second of this Summer's Blackened Out State Dinners will take place at one of the Spirited Dinners. Location to be revealed soon. To register you have to buy tickets online to the event. That serves both as your payment and reservation. We have a full agenda, so take good notes. Cougars who unknowingly or knowingly reveal their bosoms are always appreciated, welcomed, and enjoyed.

Tales of the Cocktail

One of the great additions to the New Orleans internationally acclaimed festival scene, the Tales of the Cocktail, will take place from July 16-20th. Cocktail demonstrations, tastings, tours, lectures, spirited dinners and general frivolity ensue. A few years ago, we attended a spirited dinner at Brennan's with some illegally smuggled in hooch. A good time was had by all, including the chef of this hip NYC spot. Check out the sight, see what piques your interest, by some tickets, I guarantee a good time.