WTF?

I hit the tipping point (pun intended) at lunch on Thursday at Mahony's.

A 7 person work party traveled in 2 different cars to lunch, and I was with the first group of 3 to arrive. As we placed our order at the counter, the remainder of our squad walked in. The girl working the register asked if we were all together, to which we replied yes, thinking that she would just put every order under one name even though we were paying separately.

Then she layed the smack down like Tyron Mathieu on an unsuspecting Northwestern State wide receiver coming across the middle.

"OK, we have a 15% gratuity charge for parties of 6 or more."

Say what?

I struggled to hold back from unleashing a list of sarcastic inquiries as to exactly what service would be performed to warrant this added charge. But I have experience as the low man on the totem pole who often unjustly receives the lion's share of customer complaints, most of which are based on managerial decisions over which the victim of the tirade exercises no control. So I bit my tongue, took a picture of the receipt, enjoyed the onion rings as always, toughed it out through a terribly dry cochon de lait po-boy, and walked out the door feeling that the time had come to take a stand.

In my humble opinion, yelling out my name when my order is ready and then carrying my po-boy from the counter to my table does not constitute "service". Don't get me wrong - all of the employees were smiling, courteous, and performed their duties well. But at no time did anyone walk over to our table and offer to refill our drinks, fetch extra napkins, or ask if we were enjoying our food.

I understand that large parties have the tendency to linger and occupy coveted table space for longer periods of time than a deuce or 4 top would. But Thursday lunch at Mahony's is not the courtyard at Bayona on a beautiful Friday afternoon in spring or the dining room at Stella on Valentine's Day. I understand that volume is the name of the game and that the faster the tables turn, the more money a restaurateur makes. Had gratuity not been automatically added, I probably would have dropped a dollar or two in the tip jar. I do the same when I go to Felipe's, The Store, Creole Creamery, and the like. But at all of the aforementioned, it is my option to do so.

But we are still talking about a po-boy shop that bills itself as "a tribute/throw-back to the old neighborhood Po-Boy shops of New Orleans". I wonder if Clarence & Lefty's had a similar policy?

Mahony's

Mahony's was the subject of our first Dining Out article in OffBeat, way back in September 2008. Chef Ben Wicks took his years of experience in fine dining and applied those techniques and loyalty to fine ingredient  to this poor man's staple. Two years later, this tribute to the New Orleans neighborhood po-boy shop is still creating waves with diners by making everything from scratch and taking its sweet time to do so.

No visit to Mahony's is complete without an order of onion rings, which are thinly shaved, crisp, and arrive sprinkled with coare salt. I'm ready to proclaim that these are better than the ones at Charlie's Steakhouse. The small order is an overflowing basket big enough to be shared among a table of 4 people, and you are advised to request that the rings be served immediately so that you have something to snack on while you wait for your po-boys.

And wait you will. The most common complaint that I hear about Mahony's is that the kitchen moves painstakingly slow. When it's crowded - which is usually the case every Saturday during lunch - a 30 minute wait from ordering to eating is not uncommon. I have heard/read multiple reports of 45 minute waits and surly service but have never personally experienced either of those. So why does it take Mahony's 3 or 4 times longer to do what others around town can do in 10 minutes? Well, the party line is that they "make everything from scratch" and that takes time. "Cooked-to-order" is an attribute that we should applaud, but the wait can be frustrating when its unexpected. Regardless, if you're in a rush, this is probably not the spot for you.

The list of po-boys includes both the "Usual Suspects" and "Signature Specialties." Meatball Parmesan has slices of fresh mozzarella and a rustic tomato sauce that was a bit underseasoned for my tastes, but what the sandwich really needed was to be blasted in the oven so as to melt the cheese. Fried green tomatoes are thickly cut, crispy fried in cornmeal, and paired with large, perfectly grilled shrimp and a remoulade sauce which is all the dressing that is needed. At $10.25 for the 6" size, this is an expensive po-boy that proudly includes "fresh Louisiana shrimp right off the boat."

The classic roast beef may be the best. Cooked “pot roast” style with plenty of mire poix, the beef falls apart to shreds and chunks that bathe in thick gravy which tastes like it came from ya mama's slow cooker (but better).. Roast turkey is year-round Thanksgiving leftovers, and Chisesi's ham are sweetened with a root beer glaze. If you're in search of something a little more unconventional, look no further than the fried chicken livers and cole slaw combination, which is rich, delicious, and obviously not recommended for the health conscious. But who counts calories when eating po-boys?

True, the wait is longer and prices are higher than what we are accustom to when it comes to po-boys. But at least you know where your food is coming from. It's written on the sign and can be tasted in the food.

The Post-Katrina Top 20: #15 - #11

We start off this week with the continuation of our countdown of the Top 20 new and improved food and beverage accomplishments in post-Katrina New Orleans. If you missed #20-#16, click here.

#15: Stein's Deli - Sometimes things just make sense. Dan Stein realized New Orleans did not need another po boy shop. What it did need was a New York/Philadelphia/Jewish Delicatessen with an amazing beer selection and an attitude to match. In February 2007, Stein and partner Andre Moreau found a sliver of space on Magazine and crammed it to the rafters with fine meats, stinky cheeses, beer, hard cider, and other hard to find food items. But the true genius is in their sandwiches. Philly cheesesteaks, Reuben's, Chicago beefs, Fernandos, and Kellys have made this place a regular in our rotation. Plus, it is a great place to tell Mike Vick jokes.

#14: MiLa - While Mississippi and Louisiana were fighting over recovery dollars, Chefs Slade Rushing and Allison Vines-Rushing were marrying the cuisines of their respective home states in what's still the best and most over-looked hotel restaurant in the city. If we could only eat one dish before we die, then we choose MiLa's pan-roasted sweetbreads over truffled grits with bacon jus. The $20 lunch special is the value of the decade, well besides that Tiger Woods stock we bought last August.

#13: Mahony's Po-Boy Shop - After he simply could not rid himself of the memory of a few bogey po-boy experiences, Chef Ben Wicks decided to open up his own place in homage to the po-boy shops which he grew up with. At Mahony's, the kitchen cooks everything from scratch and does well by both the classics (like pot-roast style roast beef and fried oysters) to the avant garde (like fried chicken livers with cole slaw). Throw in the sensational shaved onion rings and an cold draft Abita root beer, and you have shining beacon of hope for the continuation of the po-boy tradition.

#12: Bistro Daisy - When Chef Anton Schulte left La Petite Grocery, his fans wondered (a) where he would end up next and (b) if he could replicate that soft and magical touch elsewhere. The Chef and his wife Diane went two-for-two when they opened their own bistro inside this old shotgun on Magazine Street. Now the name "Daisy" will always be synonymous with both their daughter and the artful salad of fresh mozzarella and roasted yellow peppers. The crawfish and mascarpone ravioli garners most of the well-deserved praise, but the lamb strip and parmesan risotto should not be overlooked either.

#11: NOLA Brew - After dealing with the hassles of insurance adjusters, contractors, and bureaucrats, Kirk Coco and Peter Caddo knew that what New Orleans really needed was a drink. So they set up a brewery in a warehouse on Tchoupitoulas and started brewing beer. Sound crazy? Well, maybe it is. But there is no denying the goodness of their NOLA Brown with a roast beef po-boy or the Seventh Street Wheat with a bowl of Vietnamese chargrilled pork. With the exile of Dixie, New Orleans once again has a beer to call their own.

Top 10 New Orleans Sandwiches

Nothing like starting the week off with a little controversy.

1. Roast Beef Po-Boy - Parkway Bakery: Words cannot describe the magic of Parkway's roast beef. The beef and gravy somehow become one with each other to make for a spectacular sandwich. The only possible way to improve on this po-boy would be to add fried shrimp .... Oh, right. I believe they call that the Surf & Turf, and it's now a permanent fixture on the menu. Then again, why mess with perfection?
2. Muffuletta - Nor Joe's: Sure, Central Grocery may have started it all, but who wants to wait in line and deal with surly service? At Nor-Joe's you only have to tolerate surly service. This sandwich is not for anyone with an aversion to the finer things in life. Things like cheese, Italian deli meats, briney olives, and bread. Its about time someone around town made a Muffuletta Charcuterie Board. In fact, I just did.
3. Roast Duck Po-Boy - Crabby Jack's: This thing is amazing, if only for the fact that you can't get it anywhere else. Succulent roasted duck in a brown au jus - it also wins the "high class" award.
4. Mozzarella - St. James Cheese Company/Fernando - Stein's Deli: So similar, yet so different? Both start with foccacia, pesto, and fresh mozzarella. At St. James they use salami, while at Stein's they layer on the prosciutto. The St. James Girl (surprisingly) gives the edge to the Mozzarella because the cheese is slightly melted.
5. Banh Mi - Pho Tau Bay: The bread might be the best specimen of classic New Orleans style french bread in the city. The fillings are straight from Vietnam. My favorite is the chef's special liver sausage and rolled ham, but you can't go wrong with the char grilled pork. By the way, the sandwiches are small (and cheap) enough so that you can order both.
6. Oyster Loaf - Casamento's: Oysters - it's what they do, which is why Casamento's is closed during those dreaded summer months when oysters are not at their peak. Piled high on toasted and buttered "pan bread" with a few pickles and a couple of dashes of hot sauce. You can't get much better than that.
7. Meatball Parmesan Po-Boy - Mahony's: The fresh mozzarella alone catapults this sandwich to the Top 10, but the handmade meatballs and red gravy are integral ingredients of the final product. The anise flavor in the meatballs provides a sweet overture to the final product.
8. #4 - Bud's Broiler: Onions? Yes. Double Meat? Yes. Chili or Sauce? Yes. (Wait, I said "or" - I have always been a sauce man myself, but I don't judge the chili lovers out there.) And if that wasn't enough, you can get this sandwich late at night.
9. Fat Kid Special - Liuzza's: Have you still not tried this yet? Panneed chicken breast topped with roast beef and gravy. How can that NOT be good? And if you wanted to be really fat, may we suggest putting fried pickles on top of all that. Dear God, my keyboard just went into cardiac arrest. Someone get me a bushwacker, STAT!
10. Italian Special - R&O's: Slices of Italian sausage and meatball, covered in red gravy, and topped with mozzarella. The seedy Italian style bread is unconventional for a po-boy, but it works. Plus, ordering a po-boy called the Italian Special makes it seem like you just put a hit out on that jerk from third grade.

Coming Tomorrow - the sandwiches we once loved, but now they are gone.

For Lunch Today...

Foreword: I wrote this blog entry a while back, but Rene and I thought it best to delay posting anything on Mahony's until after our article in OffBeat was published. We made this decision in the interest of our newly found journalistic integrity. Whatever that means.


The Pope absolutely loves onion rings. I don't think that I have ever known him to pass up an opportunity to start a lunch with mile-high pile of those golden rings of goodness. But I never knew where his hankering for fried onions came from until a recent lunch date with La Papa's Mama, Mary Magdalene ("MM").

MM was kind enough to procure us a few extra tickets to the LRA Food Service Expo, and I offered to buy her lunch as a sign of gratitude. We decided to try Mahony's Po-Boy Shop on Magazine just off Louisiana. The place is run by former Rio Mar Sous Chef Ben Wicks, who obviously has had some great training under Adolfo Garcia.

The po-boys are solid, and you have a few unconventional options for fillings. The richness of fried chicken livers is offset well by the acid and crunch of shredded coleslaw. The meatballs are covered in fresh buffalo mozzarella (where else is that possible?), and the cochon de lait is porcine perfection on french bread.

But the onion rings alone are worth a visit - thinly shaved onions, lightly coated, and then fried crisp to order. MM proclaimed these rings as the best in the city, and she would know. The french fries are also fresh cut and fried to order. If I wasn't such a carnivore, I would get the french fry po-boy (with cheese and brown gravy, of course), and then ADD onion rings to the sandwich.