Time to Vote, Citizens of the Internets

First off you, you weirdos really like the book Everyone Poops. One out of every three entries, used that as the book. What is wrong with you people?

Chiding out of the way. Vote on your left. We will announce the winner on Friday. Top three win fame, prizes, and prizes of fame. 

Kevin Allman

Valentine's Day occurs on the Fourteenth of February celebrating the feast day of Susan Spicer. Each year Sazeracs express their horned-up amuse bouches to one another by attacking chocolates, roses, and demiglaces. Rachel Ray’s 30-Minute Meal-a-Day details how two passionate lovers met on Valentine's Day while walking in Fat Harry's. If you are a battery, on Valentine's vibrate your pounce or wife an appalling bouquet of grillades and grits. If you are a girl, on Valentines it is seductively cool to wear lots of fierce pickled okra. There you have it the Blackened Out skewer to the last Mrs. Al Copeland.

Caroline Stivers

Valentine's Day occurs on the Fourteenth of February celebrating the feast day of Walter Matthau. Each year hot dogs express their sublime tar to one another by skedaddling chocolates, roses, and anteaters. Infinite Jest details how two revolting lovers met on Valentine's Day while walking in Bhutan. If you are a monk on Valentine's embrace your doughnut or wife an exquisite bouquet of pecans. If you are a girl, on Valentines it is eagerly illicit to wear lots of tawdry video poker. There you have it the Blackened Out unicorn to Octomom.

Talamo

Valentine's Day occurs on the Fourteenth of February celebrating the feast day of Rene. Each year cocktails express their fiery buttocks to one another by baking chocolates, roses, and teeth. The Sound and the Fury details how two clueless lovers met on Valentine's Day while walking in the Box Factory. If you are an earring, on Valentine's is your butternut squash or wife a stanky bouquet of pool balls? If you are a girl, on Valentines it is lustfully weakened to wear lots of hilarious pillows. There you have it the Blackened Out Grammy to Buzz Aldrin.
Joe

Valentine's Day occurs on the Fourteenth of February celebrating the feast day of The Situation. Each year grenades express their smooth Vineyards to one another by backflipping chocolates, roses, and food blogs. Of Mice and Men details how two enormous lovers met on Valentine's Day while walking in Taj Mahal. If you are Air Jordans, on Valentine's clap your bacon or wife a salty bouquet of magazines. If you are a girl, on Valentines it is cryptically expensive to wear lots of dump trucks. There you have it the Blackened Out Twitter to Lady Diana.

Julia

Valentine's Day occurs on the Fourteenth of February celebrating the feast day of Justin Bieber. Each year stamps express their spectacular pens to one another by spelunking chocolates, roses, and coffee beans. A Shore Thing details how two jittery lovers met on Valentine's Day while walking in the back of a Volkswagen. If you are a ring, on Valentine's entice your scissors or wife an enthusiastic bouquet of t-shirts. If you are a girl, on Valentines it is authoritatively long to wear lots of arrogant soap. There you have it the Blackened Out bacon to Esplanade Mall.
Matt Wolfe

Valentine's Day occurs on the Fourteenth of February celebrating the feast day of Count Dracula. Each year bees express their sleepy soap to one another by drilling chocolates, roses, and mousetraps. Cat in the Hat details how two fast lovers met on Valentine's Day while walking in Charlie Sheen’s Porn Room. If you are a tree, on Valentine's haunt your golfball or wife a fuzzy bouquet of mummies. If you are a girl, on Valentines it is drunkenly pretty to wear lots of contagious earwax. There you have it the Blackened Out plastic wrap to Buddy D.

Mad Libs Valentine's Contest

Valentine's Day is coming up, which means every food blog in America is going to give you seductive recipes, aphrodisiac appetizers, and ideas for dining out. Not us. We want to craft the most amazing Valentine's Day guide of all time and we need your help. To accomplish this, we are going to play a game of Mad Libs.

The rules are simple: Either leave your answers in the comments or email them to us. We pick the top 6 Valentine's Mad Lib stories, and you vote on your favorite. The top 3 stories win prizes from Sucre's Valentine's Day Selections.

1st Place - An I Love You Gift Box filled with a Medium For the Love of Chocolate Collection, a Large Box of Sweetheart Macaroons, Handmade Vanilla Marshmallows, and a Rose Petal & Pistachio Bar.

2nd Place - Sweetheart Macaroons and a Heart Shaped Box of Chocolates

3rd Place - For the Love of Chocolate Box

Why Mad Libs?

True story. The Blackened Out twins met in 8th grade English class at Jesuit High School. Mr. Powers used Mad Libs to presumably make sure everyone understood the difference between a gerund, noun, and adverb. Being that we were all 13 and 14 years old, these exercises usually devolved into sentences that read thusly "The fat, bloated pumpkin farted across the frozen turd." Now that you know where our humor resides, let's play.

Here they are:
1) Noun, Proper
2) Noun, Plural
3) Adjective
4) Noun
5) Action Verb
6) Noun, Plural
7) Name of Book
8) Adjective
9) Place
10) Noun
11) Verb
12) Noun
13) Adjective
14) Noun, Plural
15) Adverb
16) Adjective
17) Adjective
18) Noun
19) Noun
20) Proper Noun

You have two weeks to submit your responses. Voting will begin on February 7th with the winners announced on the 11th.