Mr. B's Bistro: Is It Worth It?

I'd love to link to the Mr. B's website, but it still has an automatic loud musical interlude attached to it. Turn it off on one page and go to another page and boom it shows up again. If you watch tv, you are familiar with the song. Never a good sign. Note to restaurants: I am going to your website for roughly the same reason one goes to your restaurant. Loud, abrasive music in either location is not welcome, no matter how much you paid for the jingle.

Onto the food. The bread is good. Warm and crisp and served with lots of cold butter. Come in here, soak up the handsome scene, drink a few martinis and eat two loaves of bread and you may have a pretty good meal. Venture farther than that and you are on your own.

For example the gumbo ya-ya, a longtime staple, leaves plenty to be desired in the diner's mind. For one thing, the broth was bitter perhaps owing to the extremely dark roux. The mini coasters of sausage were mealy and wet. They fell apart at the slightest urging into a crumbling mess. Duck springrolls, had the opposite effect, as their filling was dry and chalky. The just barely cooked wanton wrapper was reminiscent of a wet cigarette. The sweet ginger-garlic dipping sauce that came along for the ride was sugar coma inducing and a mess of muddled flavors. But the big slab of radicchio saved the dish, by giving us a five minute conversation of what it was possibly doing on the plate.

Entrees arrived after a long pause. The paneed veal was tough and led us to wonder if the first time it had been introduced to milk was when it met the overcooked, soggy pasta coated in an insipid alfredo sauce. Perhaps so, but it was not a great first impression for the two.

I've become a big fan of barbecue shrimp, but these had me revoking my fan club membership. The dish works best with Louisiana shrimp that are in the 10-12 count range or smaller. A key element of the dish, in my opinion, is the sweet, briny flavor of smaller shrimp helps offset the heat of the sauce. The shrimp at Mr. B's were too big which leads to them being overcooked. Hence, they become tough to peel. The sauce had a little too much Worcestershire flavor and not enough heat. One is left with an abundant supply of sauce, but the bread served on the side is flabby. Ask for another order of the good bread and plow through. You are almost finished.

Mr. B's Bistro: Is It Worth It? No.
201 Royal St.
523-2078

Short Order Reviews

Short Order Reviews is back this week with an unfortunate ride on a one way train to Bogey Town.

Mr. B's - A break between depositions at One Canal Place necessitated a relatively speedy lunch in the Quarter, and unfortunately my dining companion vetoed Felipe's as an option. The Green Goddess was also closed for business, so we ended up at Mr. B's, which was surprisingly packed for Monday lunch service. The two course lunch menu seems like a great idea, but red beans and rice and grilled salmon as entrée choices were uninteresting to me, especially considering the quality of product put out at lunch by the likes of MiLa and August at a similar price. Instead I went with the burger, allegedly made from tenderloin, which probably would have made a difference had it not been cooked to death. Along side the burger was an order of soft, greasy fries. I paid the most attention to the hot and airy loaves of crisp french bread, which would have been more satisfying had the butter not been frozen solid and impossible to spread. My one visit every three years re-affirmed why this place is not on my regular rotation. Bogey.

Lilly's Cafe - A trip to Juan's in the Garden District was detoured by a suggestion to walk across the street to try out Lilly's, one of several Vietnamese restaurants recently opened Uptown. The tall ceilings and white tile floor give the space the feel of a nail salon, though the pressed ceiling is an interesting and surprising design feature. Lilly’s Rolls are the house specialty – shrimp, "pork ham" (?), mint, avocado, and sliced strawberries wrapped with vermicelli noodles in rice paper. The classic shrimp and pork spring rolls were serviceable enough, but the peanut sauce was thin and bland. Egg rolls filled with ground pork were a mushy mess. Long, razor thin shavings of cucumber, daikon, and lettuce formed the base of the vermicelli bowl, which was topped with slices of bland, dry pork that were remiss of the chargrilled, caramelized pork candy flavor that I associate with this dish. Before passing judgment I promised myself to return for the banh mi, but the outlook is not much better than Obama's chance of winning Louisiana's electoral votes. Bogey/Mulligan.

Prime Grille - This past Sunday we went in search of brunch in the Bywater. The Folk Singer was unwilling to act as a guinea pig to test if Elizabeth's had gotten it's act together, so we ended up at Prime Grille, which took over the former location of Bywater BBQ about 2 months ago. Had I bothered to inspect the brunch menu posted outside the front door, I would have saved us from one of the worst meals in the city that we can remember.  The quaint dining room is actually well designed, save for the bar which extends about 3 inches toward the diner and requires a constant slouch over to ferry food from plate to mouth. The menu though was flat and uninspiring, and the execution was even worse. Scotch eggs win the award for food that is most inexplicably still served in a restaurant. A dry fried chicken breast sat atop an even drier biscuit covered in "chicken gravy" that was a euphemism for chicken pot pie filling (complete with frozen peas, carrots, and green beans). I felt that I had been transported back in time to that fateful Friday morning at the fraternity house when our chef served up a slop fest of "King Ranch" for lunch because he got too stoned at the Panic show the night before. TFS did not fare much better with eggs benedict comprised of soft english muffins, institutional Canadian bacon, and a tepid hollandaise. Fighting among the staff was audible in the dining room when the expediter complained to the waiter that none of his tickets had a table number, which explained how the phantom veggie omelet went missing from Table 2. I think that you get the picture. Double Bogey.

Cooking With Wine

Ahab had his white whale; I have brisket. Recently, I have become mildly obsessed with cooking the perfect brisket which is crusty and barked on the outside and juicy and tender on the inside. I am only in the beginning stages of this particular culinary obsession, but if you want to try some incredible brisket (as well as other bbq), make your way to Smokin Buddha BBQieux. Their brisket is fat and tender, with a spiced bark and rich interior. But more on the city's best barbecue later.

Mad Max sent forth a brawny and polished California Cab this week made by the folks at Five Vintners. Sourced from grapes from St. Helena, Rutherford, and Napa, this cab burst forth with red fruits and smooth tannins. Now, I could have easily grilled a fat porterhouse or thick lamb chops and knocked this pairing out of the park. But, brisket was on my mind. Specifically, a brisket that combined the benefits of braising with the glories of barbecue. Something that would not be too aggressive with the wine, but also stand up to the heavy onslaught or wine power that a California Cab brings to the table.

Marinated, uncooked brisket ready for the grill.

The Taste of Braising, the Texture of BBQ 

That is not an entirely accurate description, but let's go with it. What results in a juicy, lip smacking brisket with a deeper flavorprofile than traditional barbecued brisket while retaining more than a touch of smoke. To accomplish this, first get to marinating. Combine 3/4's of a bottle of stout red wine - Malbec will do- a glove of garlic smashed, a sprig of rosemary chopped, enough salt to fit in the palm of your hand, two bay leaves crushed, and ten or so cracks of black pepper. Mix all of this together, and pour over the brisket. Cover and marinate overnight. 

Get a smoker to hold steady at 225 degrees. I added a 3:2 mix of hickory and cherry wood chips, feel free to smoke with what the good lord gave you. Remove the brisket from the fridge and marinade; reserve the marinade. Pat dry and sprinkle some more coarse salt on top. Place in your smoker, cover and smoke at 225 for 3 hours. Meanwhile, reduce the marinade in a sauce pan until only about a quarter of it remains. 

After three hours, remove the brisket, place on a sheet of foil, pour over the reduced marinade, seal the foil, and place back on the smoker for another three hours or so. After three hours, remove from foil, place back on the smoker unencumbered for thirty minutes or so. Then slice across the grain. 

Last time I made this the Saints dominated the Lions in a playoff matchup. If everyone makes this brisket, no doubt the Saints are going to the win. Throw in the wine, and most likely we are hosting an NFC Championship game next Sunday. The 2007 Cabernet Sauvignon from Five Vintners is available at Iris, Commander's Palace, Mr. B's, Houston's, Whole Foods, and The Wine Seller, where it retails for around $37.

Winesday

Rene - Pale yellow/gold in glass. On the nose I get some lemon with cold cream. Fatty in mouth with a mineral viscosity and trace of spice. I think this wine do well with something substantial like the Veal Alyssa at Mr. John's. Or perhaps the Oysters Rock at The Bombay Club where they serve a fried oyster on a bed of absinthe laced cream spinach. But I'd be equally happy drinking this on its own.

Peter - This wine is a walking contradiction. The color is faintly yellow, so you expect muted flavors and crispness. The nose has a sweetness like fresh melon. Then you taste and the sugar is very mellow, with a good bit of tang/spice on the end. This go well with the pan sauteed drum with smoked tomato beurre blanc that was on my lunch table at Lilette yesterday.

Joe the Wine Guy - The 2010 Rutherford Sauvignon Blanc from Provenance reveals lively aromas reminiscent of lemon custard, Key lime, orange blossom and kiwi. Hints of lemongrass and mineral - the signatures of this grape varietal - add complexity. The mouth-coating flavors pick up apple cobbler and nutmeg notes before culminating in a long, tangy finished that is lightly nuanced with sweet oak spice. This wine's vibrant, balanced acidity makes it a delicious apertif or compliment to lighter entrees. Retails for $24.99 and poured at Mike's on the Avenue and Mr. B's.

Winesday Redux - Coincidentally, Provenance Winery holds a special place in the hearts of Blackened Out fans because that is where Peter, The Pope, and their merry band of wineauxs stayed during their first trip to Napa. To read more about that viticultural adventure, click here.

2010 We Live To Eat Contest

Last summer, we turned the blog over to you guys on Thursdays with astonishing results for a contest. Guess what? This summer we are doing it again. But this year, every Friday will be your time to get your shine on. And we have real prizes to replace last year's crummy prizes: a gently used Invincible DVD, an annotated compendium to Windows 95, and lunch with Legend.

A few months ago the Greater New Orleans Chapter of the Louisiana Restaurant Association launched the We Live To Eat Campaign. The WLTE Campaign highlights the incredible bounty of delicious restaurants in the Greater New Orleans Area. One of the best things we have found about writing this blog is that everyone in New Orleans is a food expert. We love talking about where we have eaten, what we are eating, and where we are going to be eating. No one could ever accuse New Orleans of being a city of Debbie Downers. Now more than ever, the restaurants of our home town need our cheerleading and support.

So here is how the contest works. You get to tell us your most ideal day of dining in the Greater New Orleans Area. Where would you go for breakfast, what do you do for lunch, what do you eat for a snack, and where do you eat dinner. Money is no object, and there are no geographical limitations besides that the restaurants must be in the Greater New Orleans Area. Afternoon snack at Cafe du Monde followed by a cocktail at Napoleon House and dinner at Mosca's? Sounds perfect to us. Chart out your day and email us your submissions at BlackenedOut at Gmail Dot Com (or click "Contact Us" on the task bar).

Not from around here but love to visit? You can play too; we are sure you have your eating itinerary lined up before you book your flight. Nervous about using your name? Come up with an alias. Each Friday we will post your entries and allow our readers to vote on each week's winner. After six weeks, the top 6 entries will be up for consideration for the 2010 We Live To Eat Award where, once again, you the readers will vote on your favorite dining itinerary.

Here are the prizes for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd Place:

1st Place - $100 gift certificate to Commander's Palace and $75 gift certificate to Drago's.

2nd Place - $100 gift certificate to Mr. B's and a $25 gift certificate to Drago's.

3rd Place - $75 gift certificate to Ruth's Chris.

Plus a whole slew of hats and t-shirts. Much better than a Windows manual.

People the world over consider New Orleans a dining destination. This mantle is not just because we have Galatoire's, Antoine's, and August. It is also because we have mom and pop po-boy shops, charming bistros, and neighborhood joints. So give us your best shot at designing the perfect day of dining.

We can't wait to hear from you.

For Lunch Today...

Its raining and that makes me think of Irma Thomas. As such something with some body, some meaning, and quintessentially New Orleans to eat would fit the bill. Easy choice here: weather for the ducks calls for Gumbo. I don't care where you go for it. Perhaps you may want to duck into Herbsaint or Cochon and sit at the bar for Chef Link's always amazing Gumbo of the Day. Some critics* of this blog have mentioned my man crush on Donald Link. Fair enough, I won't deny it but his gumbo may be the finest in the city.

Maybe you would like to go Liuzza's By the Track. Perhaps just pop into Lil' Dizzy's. Gumbo Ya-Ya at Mr. B's. Or wait till dinner time and pick up a quart of gumbo from Leah Chase at Dooky Chase's. Your call.

What is your favorite gumbo?

*By critics I mean the 2 of the 4 readers of said blog.

Lunch Today....

Chances are you are going somewhere after work today. The Hornets are in town and there is a whole slate of college basketball games on today. Plus, weather wise New Orleans has no equal this time of year. So walk down to the Quarter. For lunch today, Mr. B's Bistro would hit the spot. Since it is a Friday, the $1.50 cocktail specials (Bloody Mary, Martini, and Mother's Ruin Punch) would operate the leadoff position. As you glance over the menu, I am positive you will eat roughly 3-4 loaves of hot, crusty French Bread.

Mr. B's has some great appetizers; however, no trip to this comfortable Gentleman's Club-esque bistro, would be complete without a bowl of Gumbo Ya-Ya. Plus the nice weather right now means the heat is coming. And you can't very well eat a bowl of hot, hearty gumbo in 95 degree heat, can you?

If Chicken Pontalba is on the menu get it. That is chicken breast with its crispy skin intact, over brabant potatoes and ham topped with hollandaise. If not, pick something else: Barbecue shrimp, pasta specialties, a really good looking burger.

This way you can eat enough at lunch today, so that you can skip dinner tonight and not feel too bad about it. For late night eats, if you are down in the Warehouse District, I'd swing by Cochon. Anywhere else, good luck; the Dough Bowl near The Boot is open late.

Note: If you would like to impress someone today. Let them know that the word Bistro is actually a Russian word meaning "quick". At one point, and let's be honest it happens a lot, Paris was overrun with Russian troops. After drinking the troops would want quick, fast food and would run through the streets shouting, "Bistro, Bistro." Sound familiar? You learn something new everyday.

The Legend

This post will begin to outline some of the characters. Hopefully, they will continue their antics under the cloak of anonymity this blog will afford them. Names have been changed to protect the guilty.

The words of the older gentleman hung in the air. "Remember only one Ojen cocktail. Anymore is foolish."

The day had started innocently enough, I had lunched scheduled with Legend and Lady Luncheon at Cafe Adelaide. Originally enthralled by the promise of $.25 Martinis, our passions soon subsided when it took over 35 minutes for the college bar drink special to arrive. Regardless, the food tasted great and the carnival atmosphere made everyone excited (it being Carnival).

After lunch, Lady Luncheon returned to work. Legend and I contemplated what to do before I mentioned, "You know Luke is right around the corner we could pop in for a good, stiff drink, maybe some raw oysters."

"I don't know...French Quarter?" responded Legend.

"They have an amazing bar and some cute bartenders..." my words trailing off behind the now fleeing for Luke, Legend.

We sat down at the Zinc topped bar and ordered a round of drinks. Stella for Legend; a Sazerac for myself. Discussions revolved around the usual non-important stuff. For my next drink I went with the Ojen Cocktail. Legend upon tasting it decided he too would switch to the potent pink tonic.

As we sat there nursing our drinks, the father of a friend came over and remarked "Y'all drinking Ojens?"

"Yes sir," we replied.

"Good. Make sure you only have one of those, anymore is foolish."

Of course this advice, like all free advice, was not taken.

Next stop is the Old Absinthe House. Where we stumbled upon the following scene, women and men dressed to the nines (just escaping the Proteus lunch at Antoine's) and a movie being filmed. If there was any place in the world, we did not need to be right at that moment it was on that fateful corner.

After a few more rounds of drinks, I head back to Lady Luncheon who by this time is getting off of work. The following texts have been received from my phone from Lady: "Are y'all blackout? I don't want to deal with y'all if you are. Make sure you can make the Dr. John concert".
I ask Legend if he would like to go home and rest up for a little while. Legend assures me, while pointing to a matronly woman, "Dude, I'm fine...seriously if I was drunk she would be a lot
better looking and I would be hitting on her. Do you see me hitting on her?"

Fast forward 2 hours, Lady Luncheon and I arrive at Mr. B's to meet The Pope, Peter (a fellow contributor of this blog), Legend and some other minor characters. Suffice it to say, Legend has begun hitting on any women within a 15 yard radius. In the time I have left him, and the Pope and Peter took custody of him, approximately 6-9 vodka martinis have been downed by Legend.
Legend than committed that most egregious sin when dining in a group. No, not grabbing the waitress's ass or telling her, "You are going home with me." Rather, he boasted, "I had an incredible quarter. Dinner, wine, drinks... it is all on me."

Then turning to The Pope who was studying the wine list, "Order whatever, I got it."

We all struggled with the morality of taking advantage of Legend's obviously drunken offer of generosity, but then good sense overrode all of us. The collective, yet unspoken, decision of the group was to teach Legend a lesson.

We set about our task with the diligence of Germans, the enthusiasm of Frenchmen, and the
care free attitude of Italians. Fried oysters, Foie Gras, Gumbo Ya-Ya, Duck Spring Rolls, Filets with Truffle Butter, a blackened trout (Peter's), and other specialities arrived. The food service was outpaced only by the speed in which the $110 a bottle Oregon Pinots arrived.
Peter, struggling with his trout, attracted the attention of the waitress. "Was it not good?" she asked.

"Yeah, it was a bit overcooked, and well maybe I am a little over blackening things, a little blackened out if you will."

Almost as if on cue, Legend hearing the phrase "blackened out" stood up and began "I am not black out, I am fine. Don't judge me, lawyers, pleh..."

What followed amazed even The Pope. Legend proceeded to take two wobbly steps forward bow down once and say "In the name of the father", bow a second time saying "The son", and finally Legend hit the deck. But not before taking out an entire tray of waters that was being brought to a neighboring table.

Legend than proceeded to hide underneath a table, and say "Shhhhhh...it wasn't me, I am just going to go to sleep...Wake me when it's over."

Before putting Legend in a cab (and securing his credit card for the bill), I told him "Go straight home, do not stop at Fat Harry's, do not collect $200."

"F*ck you, Dad.... I knew I should have had just one Ojen."