The Waiter's Key (also called Waiter's Corkscrew) To some people the process of opening a bottle of wine causes anxiety that only Xanax can cure. They worry if the cork will fall in, if bits of the cork will become lodged in the neck, if the foil will cut them to shreds. So what do they do? Why they go out and buy all manner of openers and devices to make opening wine a cinch.
The device manufacturers know you will pay good money for almost anything, so they make useless crap for you to buy in hopes of solving your problems (see also, pharmaceutical companies). These devices sometimes resemble medieval gallows with a faux wrought iron neck holding a bottle clamp and a lever to pull out wine in one fell swoop. Or they use quick bursts of high-powered gas to dislodge, disarm, and debilitate the cork before the cork has a chance to fight back. Or they are named "The Rabbit" and come in a shiny silver and black finish. I believe there is another company that makes a product called "The Rabbit," and it is not used for opening wine.
I don't know about you, but none of those sound like an attractive option.
All you need is a Waiter's Key. The Waiter's Key does not cost a fortune. The Waiter's Key will not taunt or frustrate you. The Waiter's Key does not require you to borrow carbon credits or blast gaseous fumes into your beloved wines. Most importantly The Waiter's Key will not seduce your wife. It will just open wine perfectly every time. You can even use it to open beer.
Look it even has a knife on it. You can use this knife to cut the foil off to gain access to the cork or to stab marauding bands of would-be intruders. But sometimes the best way to get the foil off is just to grab it with your hand by the collar and pull it off the bottle. It should come right off.
Now what you do is place the screw in the center of the cork and begin turning. When the screw is about 90 percent in, stop. Now you see how there are two ledges on the silver lever. The one closest to the fulcrum (or better yet the ledge over the purple book in image below) is the one you want to use first. So place it on the bottle's edge. Pull up on the handle of the key. When you can't pull anymore, switch to the lower ledge, pull some more, and watch as the cork pops right out.
And hey while you are busy, check out Peter's 15 words of fame in the Times Pic today.
Posts
3 comments:
This should've been written years ago.
Yes Yes Yes! Back when I slung hash in fancy schmancy eateries this was the only tool I'd ever use, both at work and at home. To this day I turn my nose up at anything else but the double hinged waiters wine key.
Ah! I loved seeing this blurb about my beloved double hinged wine key! I used to hoard these when I waited tables because every server would try to steal yours if you put it down for even an instant. Generally, if you lost yours, you got stuck with a crummy single hinged wine key that required herculean strength to operate. I still have one of these babies but gave away the other prizes in my stash to fellow servers in need when I quit waitressing.
This is still my favorite tool to open wine, and people find it highly impressive for some reason, haha. It's a great party trick to whip this out of your purse and smoothly open a bottle of wine. Applause and "oohs" and "ahs" are sure to follow = )
Post a Comment