Drinkable Holiday Cheer

You are going to be up early at some point during the next few days. We are told that children wake up and unwrap presents from some fat guy who snuck into your house the previous night. So not only do you have to wake up early, but it is likely you need to file a police report and fix a broken window.

If that is the case, you might as well poor yourself a drink. Now, if you have had a few too many the night before, let me caution you away from the Bloody Mary/Screwdriver route. Those cocktails, while restorative at times, have more acid in them than a Phish fan. Instead lets go for something soothing and cooling more in line with Mylanta than a Mimosa.

Chocolate Milk Punch

1.5 ounces of Vodka or Rum
3 ounces of Half-n-Half
2 tablespoons of Powdered Sugar
A generous helping of either chocolate syrup or sweetened cocoa powder
A smidgen of vanilla extract

Combine the liquor, half-n-half, powdered sugar, vanilla, and chocolate of your choosing in a cocktail shaker of crushed ice. Now, I would never advocate hitting a cocktail, but I will shake the shit out of it. And you should as well. Strain into a Mason jar? Why a Mason jar? Because it is what the cool kids are doing.

Shave some chocolate over the top for added effect.

This ratio will also work for brandy or bourbon milk punch, just omit the chocolate and grate nutmeg over the top.

Have a very Merry Christmas, you heathens.