Is there anything longer than a Friday afternoon?

Loads going on this weekend. Besides the relief of New Orleans being "spared," Lindsay and I will attempt to tackle the tasting menu at Stella! on Saturday! So what if I once made bold claims that tasting menus were "overrated" and "worthy to be put in quotation marks to indicate their clicheness." Bold times call for bold men. Bold men need to express themselves through challenges. Hercules, grant me strength.

Our hearts, sympathy, and homes go out to those in Baton Rouge and other areas, that were not as lucky as New Orleans. Allow us to return the hospitality you showed us following Katrina. Come to New Orleans; eat, drink, and be merry. Then go home and use power tools.

Saints open up at home in the Dome. The freezers of New Orleans should be emptied onto Weber grills, crawfish pots, and generator powered deep fryers. Tailgating food, and the tailgate experience itself, never ceases to amaze me. Blenders powered by weed eaters produce daquiris that would make any Camaro owner swoon. Turkeys are brined, smoked, battered and fried, slathered in hot sauce and butter, and served with blue cheese flavored ranch dressing. And who can forget the televisions, lawn chairs, inflatable Bobble Heads, and epithets to be hurled.

Party sandwiches are for the weak; platters from Wal Mart are not much better. Fry something for Christs sake! Stretch the limits of bad cholesterol. Remember the idea that the lifestyle choices of New Orleanians (and Southerners in a broader sense) contributes to heart disease, obesity, and diabetes is only a theory. Which means it must be given no greater weight (pun intended) then Einstein's Theory of Relativity.

Did I mention Fall is my favorite food season? Chilis, stews, Thanksgiving (the greatest holiday, no arguments accepted), drinking bourbon out of a plastic cup, and dips. Fall is a season embodied by dips: French Onion, 7 layer, Salsa and suspect shrimp dip. What a great way to eat for non-committal people. All it requires is one bite and you have tons of options.

Fall is coming. Time to headbutt someone/something. Full report coming on Stella!