Popes to Meet in New Orleans

Pope Benedict the 16th will return to New Orleans on August 8, 2009 to meet with The Pope and discuss among other things funnel cakes, California cult cabs, and genocide. The Pope originally learned of the Pope's intention to visit him just days after returning from his pilgrimage to Napa. "We were on the plane back, when my blackberry buzzed with a message from some place called the Holy See. I don't swim much, so I just ignored it," said The Pope.

The Pope, known for "big-timing" his friends finally texted Sextus back late last week asking the Pope, "yo what up. at the wine store what should I buy? Getting wasted tonight. LOL."

Bene responded, "Obvi, saw the pics on facebook from Napa. Pretty Sweet like like the Nutcracker."

"Yeah, I have no idea what that means," responded The Pope.

In a rare image of The Pope, seen here enduring the insult of flying commercial, we learn that he enjoys designer jeans. He is not asleep merely recovering.

This marks only the third time a member of the Papacy has met with members of one of Louisiana's illustrious restaurant families. In 1987, Pope John Paul II dined with the Guste family. And in 1963 Pope Paul VI, during a meal at Mosca's had an idea for something called Vatican II.

"Really I am just looking forward to returning to The Pope all the emails, letters, and other stuff I get from his fans. Everytime those idiots at Blackened Out mention him, there is a rush on Papal Memorabilia. I owe him for this new Popemobile. I hope he takes me to Bud's or at least Camelia Grill," said the Pope.

The Pope too is excited about the prospect of finally getting to talk to the Pope. The Friar of Foie Gras, one time fondled a book in an airport bookstore about the papacy. Ever since he has been intrigued by the possibility of living in Rome. "The book was "Da Vinci and Demons" or something like that. Looked good but not enough pictures for me," The Pope explained, " but I'd really like to know if Tom Hanks is right about religion. That and get Bene's dicta on contraception."