Friday, January 15, 2010

Let's Get Serious

This weekend's epic matchup between our beloved and noble Saints and the overhyped Cardinals requires the utmost confidence and support from us. Allow me to digress for a moment. Many of us go to bars and occasionally decide to play pool. Most of us aren't all that great at pool, but after 3-4 drinks we reach what is known as the "Zone." This also applies to bowling.

Before you know it, you are winning games handily, careening shots off the bumpers like a guy named Fats, and winning drinks from your opponents. But then boom, your game goes to shit. You scratch, or worse wiff, on the break. Things are starting to get blurry and the next thing you know you wake up in the backseat of a Ford Explorer with a phone number written on the back of a sticker that says Kiss me I'm Irish.

If you are going to the Dome, or cheering at home, you need to be in the Zone. We can't have you black out and doing the Macarena after every Saints touchdown, you can't stick your hand in the urinal to try and grab a cigarette, and please don't pass out in your seat.

So how are you going to get in the Zone? Why by drinking responsibly. Since that isn't going to happen, you might as well drink something that is smooth and refreshing. Such a monumental game requires a drink that makes the God's Happy.

The Rum Bucket (a cousin of the Gin Bucket)

1 Handle of Captain Morgan's Spiced White Rum
1 2 Liter of Sprite
1 Gallon of Orange Juice
3 Cut Oranges (and only three, cut into threes)
2 Turkey basters
Bag of ice

Place ice in 6 gallon bucket and remainder of ingredients, stir. Use turkey basters to squirt in your mouth. Or if you so desire, drink by the glass. Warning: Drinking by the glass is not recommended for amateurs.

If you are staying at home, might I suggest something to keep you busy before the game. How about you braise something. If you do, you can name your dish Drew Braised ___.

As for what I'll be eating, Valium. Straight, no chaser.

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