Monday, March 31, 2008

Galatoire's To Unveil New Service Initiative

In a stunning move yesterday, Melvin Rodrigue, general manager of Galatoire's, revealed the new direction the centuries old eatery will take.

"We recently returned from a convention of the National Association of Multi-Branch Restaurants held in Baton Rouge. While we were there we realized we had a lot to learn from some of the chain restaurants," Rodrigue stated.

"The chains do a good job of insuring top notch customer service and creating repeat clients. That is something Galatoire's has always hoped to be able to do," Rodrigue added before using a Power Point presentation to illustrate the changes to be made.

First, Galatoire's will invest $250,000 in installing and purchasing a state of the art paging system. "Many chains do not take reservations and they use these nifty little pagers to alert their clients when their table is ready. We have never taken reservations for downstairs, I really can't believe it took us this long to begin using these," said David Gooch.

The RestAlert 345-BVX will be roughly the size of a brick and will have a bead chain. This will allow the waiting person to wear the pager around the neck. Patrons will be alerted when their table is ready by a "colorful light show" and a "cheerful version of Tea for Two" blared out of the RestAlert's powerful marine speakers.

One great benefit of installing the paging system will be that it will allow patrons to sit at the Old Absinthe House or Rick's Cabaret while waiting for their table, instead of having to awkwardly stand in the anteroom or climb stairs to the upstairs bar.

Secondly, Galatoire's will begin "Bourbon Street Curb Service." "We loved that the guys from Chilis have this thing where a person can call in an order, pull up, and a team member runs out to deliver your food...How great is that?" glowed Rodrigue.

Galatoire's will also institute a 3 course, 15 minute time limited business lunch. "We lose too many customers because the oilmen, lawyers, and ladies on luncheon take 4 hours to eat and drink," said Gooch, "we have tables to turn."

The hope is that the move will triple their revenue stream by increasing the amount of people served daily. Not only that but the 15 minute time limit should contribute to greater efficiency in New Orleans's offices during the hours of 1-6 p.m.

Thirdly, Galatoire's will update the menu to include more pictures and less "stuffy French names." For example, Souffle Potatoes will now be called Fluffy Potato Poppers and will be filled with either zesty cheese sauce or Buffalo Wing Sauce. Pompano en Papillote is now called "Fish in Bag."

Galatoire's will also consult with world class celebrity chef, Sandra Lee, of Food Network's "Semi Homemade with Sandra Lee" to develop new menu items. "What is great about Mrs. Lee is she knows what people want. Canned Chili layered with cheese and sour cream in a parfait glass...I'll have two," added Executive Chef of Galatoire's Brian Landry.

Mrs. Lee, reached by phone in her home town of Malibu, said she is looking forward to working with the 103 year-old restaurant. "I hope to streamline the back of the house. Do you realize they have a woman whose sole job is to peel shrimp? We are going to replace that with convenient and easy frozen shrimp pre-breaded and par cooked in Abilene, Texas," said Mrs. Lee.

"I also can't wait to spruce up the interior with some brilliant tablescapes made of reclaimed football helmets. And those mirrored walls. The last time I saw that many mirrors I was on my back in a sleezy motel."

Finally, waiters at Galatoire's will have new uniforms designed by the tandem of Tommy Hilfiger and Lauren Conrad from MTV's "The Hills". "Tuxedos were so last millennium," said Bryant and Doris Sylvester, while modeling the new uniform.

The new uniform features a Nehru collared shirt and a colorful striped vest. The pants were updated to include a more modern style and comfort and will now be capris. Some waiters will wear roller skates in order to better serve the Bourbon Street Curb Service.

"I would promise if these changes are instituted, I will never go back to Galatoires," said Dr. Brobson Lutz. "But I make that promise every time they change anything and I have yet to keep it. I can't wait to see Richard in capri pants!"

Certainly some of these changes will take getting used to, but as with all great traditions they must start at some time. Indeed, the future for the centuries old eatery looks bright.

2 comments:

Dave said...

Please for the love his noodly appendages let every word of this article be a total early April Fools joke.

Leon said...

I assure everyone this is a joke.a provoking but funny joke.